


Dance for me? Dance with me

by Xou



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: (But really he works for the mafia too), Actually everyone in this Au have links to the mafia, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Everyone in this Au make terrible life decision, Except Leorio - God bless Leorio, Law student Illumi, Leorio and Illumi are best roommate ever you can't convince me otherwise, M/M, Medical student Leorio, Organized Crime, Past Character Death, Slice of Life, Some violence?, Stripper Hisoka, Stripper Kurapika, lap dance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xou/pseuds/Xou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most life decisions should not include going to a gay strip club and establishing a connection with a random  male stripper.<br/>But that doesn't mean your life will never include this and a lot more complicated things than that.</p><p>AKA:  The stripper Au no one ever asked for, including questionable law student Illumi, stripper Hisoka with questionable motives, stripper Kurapika with even more questionable motives and poor poor Leorio.</p><p>Important note: Officially on hiatus!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The stage

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation for this.  
> English is not my first language, so if there's any mistakes, I'm sorry, I have no beta reader for this.  
> Please enjoy my dumb stripper Au, all born from the idea of Hisoka as a stripper.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Where Illumi goes to a strip club and everyone wants to punch Tompa_
> 
>  
> 
> Illumi has a lot of frustration and there’s Hanzo somewhere in this chapter

* * *

 

 

The air smelt of cotton ball, Windex and fresh wood. No matter how much time he spent in the small apartment, the smell stayed as if those rooms were brand new. And it was true, in one sense. Everything in the apartment complex was new, even if Illumi already lived there for a few years now. And that was why the apartment never quite felt like home.

But, to be honest, nor was he really feeling at home as his old house either. That was why when he entered law school to follow in the footsteps of his father, Illumi moved out to get a small studio closer to the college. Sure, sometimes he missed his younger brothers, but at least he didn't have to travel two hours of bus and trains everyday. He also had some sort of privacy that could only came with living on its own.

Or well, living on its own with a slightly annoying, loud and often inviting ladies in the middle of the nights to do  _ things that should stay in the bedroom _ roommate.

(Sure, with his money, Illumi could have afforded a solo apartment, but it was harder to find a good one close to college. So, he didn’t really mind Leorio presence. His roommate was studying to be a doctor and apart from not understanding that you can control your voice pitch, Leorio was a good roommate.  He didn’t bother Illumi too much or on purpose. Well, most of the time anyway)

Yeah, even with the roommate situation, Illumi had a good reason to prefer living in the apartment instead of at home. Because if he stayed around his family too much, he would just remember that despite the fact that he almost had finished his studies to be a lawyer at an incredibly young age, his father still didn’t chose him to be the new heir of the family.

And that stung. A lot.

 

The Zoldyck were a family of lawyers from generation to generation. They had carried the tradition almost as far as the profession existed, but also, along this job, they carried… other activities. No one were really sure how linked the family was joined to the mafia at this point, but from generation to generation, a new heir of the family was chosen to continue the family blood line and tradition.

It was only normal that at 23 and already almost prepared to be a rightful lawyer, Illumi sort of expected to take this role. But no, instead, his father had chosen the middle child, his younger brother Killua, to be the next heir of the family.

The kid had just turned 18 and entered art school out of all the possible things he could have chosen.

Indeed. That definitely hurt a little. Even if Illumi loved Killua more than any of his other brothers.

 

The point was that his father judged that even if Illumi could be a good lawyer – an excellent lawyer even, according to some of his teachers- he would never be the heir of the family.

Illumi, himself, didn’t have any friends and was considered odd in lots of ways. He didn’t need friends to reach his goals. Friends only meant trouble and the less people knew the details of their family business, the better. Friends were useless in this world of laws, right, but mostly money, powers and lies.

It was astonishing what prices some people were ready to pay just to let sleeping dog lies.

But really, at this point, you could also wonder what the value of one human life was. And how much some were willing to pay after they made a mistake.

 

Illumi didn’t have any friends. And that was what he grew up and what he was taught : Talk to convince, not to tell the truth, the world is a place where hunters and their prays tries to kill each other and destroy for the win, so make sure you’re at the right end of the guns. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the right or in the wrong, there is no right and wrong, there’s only money and how much of it some people will pay to protect their own or ruins another one life. In that kind of world, where everybody is ready to stab someone else in the back, the concept of friend seems ridiculous.

Sure, he had the rights to have friends, but Illumi never considered it a need. That would be a foolish mistake to give your trust to someone, only for them to have the power to control you. It was a mistake to trust and to give yourself weakness for nothing; he didn’t need those kinds of things.

Of course, the same could be said about a lover.

 

So you could only imagine his surprise when he was invited to tag along with some of Leorio friends to go to a strip club.

 

''… Come again please?''

 

Illumi slowly looked up from his book, after letting those words escapes his lips. He was calmly getting set to read for the rest of the Friday night, a cup of tea sitting in front of him, while he was comfortably installed  on the couch. A few of Leorio friends had came to pick up his roommate for a night of partying and drinking, activities he had absolutely no envy or need to partake in. That was why the invitation came as such a surprise to him. He was pretty sure he didn’t hear this right, they could not be invitation him with them… Could they?

'' Yeah! Leorio always told us that you basically never go out, so it would be a great opportunity to like, live a little for once! '' Said the same guy that offered the proposition. He was some round guy of an undetermined age called Tompa. He did know that this guy had studied at their university for much longer than they had, but he was not sure just how long and Tompa didn’t seem any closer to graduate than when he first entered. He was a really strange man.

 

So Illumi stared at him with his unblinking dark eyes for a few seconds, before also examining the group. They all seemed pretty uncomfortable with the idea of him tagging along, probably as much as he was feeling awkward to accompany them. Leorio especially, seemed to have choked on his own spit and was coughing and looking at Tompa as if look alone could kill. It could have been funny if he didn’t know that soon, Leorio would start screaming and throwing a fit for no good reason. The only reason why he was so silent was probably that he could feel the black eyes of Illumi observing both him and the small group. So, the long black haired man opened his mouth to break the silence before Leorio could open his:

'' I am alive, aren’t I? So I don’t see why I should live a little. ''

 

To that, Tompa exploded from laughter. It sounded fake and forced and that deeply irritated Illumi.

'' Wow, you’re hilarious!! Hey Leorio, you never told us this guy was a riot! ''

 

This was only answered by a deep glare from Illumi and an even angrier look from Leorio, that was basically drooling from rage like a mad dog. The apprentice doctor was just about to shout at the fat guy again, when this one continued:

'' Anyway, this is not what I meant tall guy! Like, when was the last time you let a little loose and had fun? ''

Illumi continued to blink, not really sure what to answer to that. The look on Tompa face was really irritating him, like the guy was just having the time of his life. Illumi considered what he should do… He really didn’t want to let this guy win, but he felt that whatever he would do, he’d still end up as the butt of Tompa jokes… Unless he killed the guy. But no, that would not work, there were other people in the room, he didn’t want to have witness and end up with a criminal record now. Or he could just kill them all. But he was really comfy on the couch and didn’t really want to move. So it just let him 2 options: stay in the apartment and just deal with the other man mockery. Or… He could prove him wrong and go out with the group of friends.

 

Just to think about it, Illumi felt a shiver go right through him. That was a terrible idea, he would probably spend an awful night that would not help his blood lusting mood against Tompa. But at the same time… even if the man was infuriating, he was sort of right. That was a huge blow to his pride, but Illumi really didn’t go out to have fun. Yeah, he could prove him wrong just to see what the look on his dumb face would look then. Even if it was something he really didn’t feel like doing, he could do it just for his pride and honor.

Plus… Even if Illumi would never think about it, he was pretty… Frustrated. Now that he knew he could never be the head of the family, he felt as if all those years studying laws had served for nothing or that he should just have done more useful occupation. Plus, the fact that his own father had preferred Killua of all person, the Killua that always tried to break the family tradition, now that really pissed him off. He was not really jealous, but he felt that Killua just didn’t have the competence to be the next heir, nor did he care at all about his own family. 

Even if he, himself, cared a lot for the little shit.

That was infuriating. He really had a lot to let go and unwind, so the decision came naturally to him, even if he himself was a bit surprised by it.

 

He stood up from the couch, slowly untangling his long black hair for them to look presentable and losing the slippers he had on his feet to put on his shoes. The group of friends was still in complete silence, their eyes round and big, like they could not believe that they had coming with them Illumi Zoldyck of all people.

And Tompa?  Well, the asshole was still smiling with the same infuriating smile which made Illumi rolls his empty black eyes. Yup. Definitely going to kill him later. Instead of giving in to his killing instinct, Illumi opened his mouth to ask:

'' Where are we going then? ''

 

…

 

'' This is a gay strip club.''

The tone of Illumi voice was even, not horrified, disgusted, nor amused. It was a simple observation looking at the club he and the group of Leorio friends had ended in front off. The group seemed to have fewer people than when they first had gotten into the apartment, some of them having escaped while they walked to the club, but honestly Illumi didn’t really mind. Or he just didn’t care at all. Who cared anyway he was just there to wind down and prove a point to Tompa that was standing way too close to him for his personal comfort. Meanwhile, Leorio had a horrified looks on his face, just like the time he tried to swallow a lemon whole for unknown reasons. He choked and Illumi, not really bothered for his roommate, but too lazy to find a new one, performed CPR to him after he passed out. It was an experience they both agreed to never talk about. He was at least grateful for that.

 

Anyway, his roommate face was completely red, as Tompa answered to Illumi observation:

'' Indeed, this is a gay strip club! Leorio really like this place, don’t you Leorio?''

'' SHUT THE FUCK UP TOMPA! I am not gay!! I am VERY MUCH straight! I enjoy sleeping with GIRLS! I like vaginas! Done!''

''Ooooh, wow, so much emphasis! Are you certain Leorio? So, you’re saying you’ve never been here before?''

''… There’s girls’ stripping here too…''

 

Now, Leorio was simply looking at his feet, visibly embarrassed.  Tompa was just there with a shit-eating grin on his face. Illumi was really done with all of this. So he let another sigh and didn’t wait for the group to enter the crowded place.

 

Even with entering the place full of people moving around and basically humping everywhere on the dance floor, Illumi suddenly felt better. At least now, there were no longer eyes on him, watching his every move as if he was something dangerous. Here, nobody knew him, nobody was judging him. He sort of felt a weird kind of freedom, the same freedom he felt after leaving the family house to get installed in his apartment. At the time, he was relieved and naively thought that by living on his own, he would no longer be associated to the name ‘‘Zoldyck’’. It was pitiful, thinking back about it, because of course, he could never escape his last name and didn’t want to either. But some time, it would be nice to just have a break and not feel everybody eyes on him and having to be seen as just another Zoldyck, but as Illumi.

It was not happening anytime soon though, so instead of standing still in the sea of moving bodies, Illumi walked to the bar and set down after ordering a… Well, he was not sure what the cocktail name was, but he did not have plans to get drunk tonight. Anyway, it would take a lot of alcohol to bring him down. It was part of the business you know. But for once, he kind of wished to be able to drown his feelings in alcohol. The thought itself, so weak and pitifully, made him want to drink even more, just to be blank.

He looked at the people in the dance-floor, dancing, touching and sweating like pigs. Must be nice to not have a care. But no, he was not like them and would never be like them. He was high above all of those things and sure, pigs can have fun soiling themselves and rolling in mud, but it doesn’t mean that human should do it too. All those people dancing, they were simple animals. With simple needs and simple minds, just give them enough to satisfy them and they will shut their groans, continue to live blissfully unaware and go eat in the palm of the hand, squealing from pleasure and moaning their praise to the one guiding them. But no such things were enough for him. He would not moan and sing for the simplest of things. He didn’t want just enough, he wanted more, he wanted everything. He deserved everything.

He deserved everything and even more, because that was his place in the world. They were simple animal and he was the hunter.

 

'' Hey, sweet thing, come here often?''

The masculine voice behind him, as well as the arm casually being laid across his shoulders after briefly caressing his long hair, made Illumi jump out of his thought. A shiver passed through him as he tried to turn around to see the man face. He was previously so lost in his head that he didn’t realize another man presence approaching him until the guy was all over him. How dare he even touch him. This guy, this filthy excuse of a man, he probably didn’t know his place. If the guy just knew who he was, he would never have dared approach him and even less lay a finger on him. But what was one finger in less if you still have 9 other one perfectly working?

Illumi slowly turned around to see who had approaching him like that, some bald guy with abnormally long eyelashes, looking at him with what he suppose was meant to be a seductive expression, but only made him taste vomit. He didn’t feel sorry at all when he prepared the meanest, darkest glare he could produce.

This guy, after probably pissing his pants, was going to die and he didn’t feel even an ounce of regret.

 

'' Well, well, what do have here~''

However, fate seemed to have other plans for him.

 

'' Who the fucks are you? Don’t you see I’m occupied with this lady?''

It was baldy unwanted intruder that answered to the question as Illumi examined the new figure that had approached them. He was a bit insulted by this new guy approaching (and a bit insulted too by the fact that the loudmouth who was hitting on him visibly mistook him for a girl). After all, he had the situation perfectly in hands and didn’t need any outside help from another guy. No, he wasn’t allowed that and if the price of this intervention was another corpse to dispose of, he honestly didn’t mind. He just had to hide the two bodies in different location or better yet, use the ideal services of the Internet. Organ trafficking was always a go-for.

 

… Oh right, he wasn’t supposed to think those things now that he was almost a lawyer.

 

So, as Illumi examined with caution the new guy approaching towards them, he could not help to be a bit surprised by his appearance. He had some sort of weird face painting and muzzled-up pink hair. He was wearing a simple pair of large white pants and an open-chest sleeveless vest showing everything that you would need to see. Even the bald guy still gripping on his shoulder (If he didn’t let go soon, Illumi would seriously flip out. Or more accurately, flip the guy over.)  But no, if his eyes could not detach themselves from this man it was because he was emitting some sort of aura. He was not all those other people in the club, going and coming, without a care in their minds. No, Illumi felt that the pink haired man was probably like him. Above all of this. And despite it all, he seemed so comfortable to blend in with the low class at the end of the chain, with his ridiculous hair and outfit. He fitted right in with all of those pigs, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

This guy was strong and probably dangerous.

 

Illumi didn’t know why he felt such a trimmer of excitation run through him.

They were on the same stage, the both of them, so it was either getting killed or killing the other.

And right now, he was not sure which set of teeth would be on which neck.

Actually, in this situation right now, he was still under baldy arm thrown across his shoulder, so he was not winning anything yet. Yet.

 

And the guy having just arrived didn’t seem to want to let him win either, as he answers the previous question asked by the bald guy still harassing him:

''My, my, it doesn’t really matter who I am, when you, of all person, didn’t seem to take the time to introduce yourself either~. And yes, you do seem occupied, however, that right here, is not a lady ♡''

 

Illumi didn’t miss the look of surprise crossing the bald guy face when he turned around finally properly facing him. He almost wanted to flip him the bird, but he was more distinguish than that and simply glared with all of his hate and frustration in his eyes. The guy automatically backed up and apologizes under his breath (something about being a ninja and needing to realize the situation sooner) before leaving. Or more accurately, flying off the scene completely to be abandoned by the story and never seen again. All there was left behind was the pink-haired man weirdo, with a huge grin on his face and a look of complete pride of himself.

Oh no. This was not a good look.

''There, there, don’t you think I deserve at least a thank you~?''

 

The phrase was said with such an obnoxious look reflecting in the other golden eyes that Illumi felt once again the taste of puke in his mouth. Oh hell no. He was maybe not in a particularly good position because of this terrible night, but never, NEVER his ego would drop so low that he would feel the need to thanks this man for  ‘‘saving him’’. And he told him so, with no emotion in his voice:

''I didn’t need any help.  Now please go away.''

''Well, aren’t you just the sweetest thing~.''

 

This was said with such mockery in the other man voice, using the same term the bald guy had used to hit on him. But no, the man standing before him was not teasing him. He was ridiculing him, mocking him without a hint of shame, like he didn’t feel threatened at all by his presence. It was like he didn’t care at all about where they were standing in the predator and hunted game. But Illumi was a predator too. He was a beast as well and would not let himself be talked this way.

Without even realizing what he was doing, one of his hand was already around the other guy neck, squeezing so beautifully,before he realized what he was doing. Suddenly, a silence seemed to have fell in the club as the guy looked at him, surprise evident in his golden shining eyes.

 

And then, a smile appeared once again on his lips.

A pleased teasing smile.

 

This man was not normal.

But at least, it meant that they belonged to the same species.

He slowly let go of the other man neck as this one raised an arm. Maybe he was so low as to let himself touch the other one, but he was not low enough to let himself be touched by him.

He still had standards.

 

''Wow, as much as I would love to continue this friendly discussion further, it would be too bad to damage the merchandise, don’t you think~? … You should come here more often. I will always make sure you have a good night ♡"

And just like that, the other man disappeared like a tornado of pink mussed up hair, teasing smile and even more teasing voice. Illumi simply staid, sitting there, with his cocktail in his hand and not really knowing what to do now.

Was it too soon to just quit and go home…?

 

The whole thing was a flop and apart from almost killing three person (including Tompa), he really didn’t let go of any of his anger. Right now, the only thing he wished was to be back in his flat, with his book, slowly reading as his tea was cooling down on the coffee table.

Why the fuck did he go to this club again?

 

''And coming to the stage, the star you were all waiting for… The magician!''

 

Before starting to leave, he stole a glance to the stage, maybe by accident.

And suddenly, his mouth was completely dry and he could not pry away his eyes from the show.

 

The pink haired that ‘‘helped him’’ and that he almost choked. He was on the stage, seductively moving his hips. And his eyes were looking right at Illumi.

 

He could not feel anything around him anymore. He could not move, even though he wished to run away. But no, what had frozen him in place were those eyes – those eyes looking at him and analyzing his every reaction and twinkling in amusement.

The guy was enjoying this. And his eyes still was not leaving him, as he moved across the stage, still shaking those hips in a really indecent manner, as if he had no shame at all. After disposing of his vest and chucking it in the crowd of people, the man grabbed a pole in the middle of the stage and started climbing it, proving a great agility and strength (well, it explained why his chest was so toned and his arm seemed really bulky sooner…),  the same elegance in his every moves.

Illumi didn’t know pole-dancing could look this good. It was his first time seeing anything like this, but he just knew, that man was good. And still, he couldn't pry his eyes away and watched with fascination and a hint of something else in his stomach.  Probably disgust. It was usually disgust.

 

Still, the pole dancer eyes were on him, as if this dance, the whole show was for him and him only, a private performance to watch him fall apart. Oh, would the other enjoy this view, he was sure. But no. Illumi was proud and he would not let him win. Even if he could not leave, he just had to stay and prove that he wouldn’t fall for a couple of teasing moves and slurry eyes on him. They were the color of honey and trapping him there. He had fallen into the trap, but he would get out of it, even if it meant chewing up his own leg.

 

So as he watched the man dance so seductively, he once again didn’t notice a familiar round figure approaching him from behind once again.

 

"Hey, I could pay you a lap-dance if you’re interested…"

 

This was said with such a crude look and an even more inflaming tone that Illumi didn’t have a single regret when he did something he dreamed all night of doing: He punched Tompa in the face.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #get rekt Tompa


	2. Setting the set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Where Leorio fail at being a responsible human being_
> 
>  
> 
>    
>  
> 
> Illumi gets turned on by murder, Hisoka’s simply turned on by being a creep and Killua have lots of gay feelings

* * *

 

 

Illumi didn’t expect the next morning to be anormal. However, when he smelt pancakes waking up, he knew – he just knew – that this day already was weird. And it probably would stay that way and he only had himself to blame.

Why, just why in the world, did he think that going to a strip-club would be a good idea? Thinking back about it, even with the peer pressure affected by Tompa, he should have known better than to lower himself at going to such a filthy place. Even, being lead by the pathetic excuse of a man was even worse for his ego and his pride would not let him swallow that. The worst part was that he even found himself in position to be ‘‘saved” by say one particular pole-dancer, before finally snapping and punching who was at fault in all of this story without any sort of regret. Well, at least with punching the other man the whole reason why he wanted to go out in the first place was fulfilled  – he finally let go of some of the tension in his body… He would have probably punched him a bit more if he had not been kicked out from the club right after.

It was probably a good thing too, since if he continued to his free-will, the poor guy would have been found dead, with half of the club and one particular stripper in the piles of corpses around him.

 

He really should not let all of his impulses loose at the same time.

He wouldn’t have to time to create an alibi and really didn’t want to use more help from his connection that he needed to. Especially for simple stupid thing like incidentally killing someone.

Let’s leave the favors for something _really_ important.

 

Something, important as let’s say, finding out just who the pink haired mysterious pole dancer was. Not because Illumi was particularly interested by him – ok, this was a lie, he was. Not by the guy in itself, but more by the aura that he was emitting. That guy was strong, dangerous and he guessed from the quick glance he had at him last night – the same as he was.

In this world of violence, a lion can easily find another lion compared to all the prey. And a gay strip-club is not exactly the place where you would find a lion. Sure, it makes the hunting so much more easy, when people are drunk on fun and adrenaline, when everything that they want is just a quick screw and here, they find a solid wall of muscles to lead their head on and teeth so sharp, softly murmuring word of debauchery in the nape of their neck, into the rhythm of the beating heart, blood just under the lips of the predator, but the prey is not playing, it’s plying, not running away, just giving in and now, now, what’s the fun in that, really? Hunting is more than just eating the first bone that comes to your mouth, no it’s scratching it, riding it out of your opponent leg when this one is still desperately running and getting to see the look of horror in their eyes, the exact moment they realize that they have been caught and abandon all hope. A look so sweet, so delicious, just like golden syrup dripping down to your tongue, taste so wonderful it basically give you an orgasm.

The kill was always this good when your victim didn’t realize they were going to die.

And, this guy, this stripper, he definitely was coming for this sort of kill. So, Illumi could only wonder, what was he doing here, working as a pole dancer? Something was definitely fishy here and probably something was going on in this club to bring such an individual in. Something dangerous, something illegal, something setting fire to the bottom of his stomach, exciting, initiating him to act, to do something.

 

It was his duty as a lawyer and as a model citizen to know just what was going on and bring an end to it.

Or so, that was what he told himself.

After all, it gave him an excuse to get back to this club and see this person again.

His interest were strictly professional and not in any way personal.

Again, that was just what he told himself.

Didn’t matter if it was true or if Illumi was just lying to himself. Seeing the other man was just part of his duty, so he didn’t have to open the part of his mind that honestly wanted to go back to the club. He didn’t want to think for once. He just wanted to act.

That was definitely odd for him. It was rare that Illumi acted without considering his actions. Even last night, even if it was really stupid to let himself get dragged to the club, he had at least knew what he was doing, still even if everything that had happened were totally unplanned. But now? He had absolutely no idea what would happen if he just gave in and let things happen.

It was refreshing in some way.

 

So, Illumi slowly got up from his bed, his decision made. He would go back to the club and what was possibly happening behind the curtain of this one, if and how the pole-dancer he had met was participating in what was happening and just who was this dangerous character. But first, he wondered just where the smells of pancakes was coming from. It was unusual to smell food in the apartment he shared with Leorio since both of them didn’t know how to cook (no, the smell of burnt food from Leorio failed attempt once in a while didn’t count since they would end up ordering Chinese in the end anyway) Illumi never learned, never had to and the apprentice doctor just was a failure at life, so neither one of them attempted to cook. So the smell of food, especially seemingly edible and not burnt to the crisp was truly unique. So Illumi, after brushing his hairs and changing out of his pajamas, got to the kitchen to see what was going on.

The sight that was waiting for him in this kitchen was Leorio cooking wearing only his boxer and an apron (At least he was wearing something…). The sight of the grown man in front of the stove and attempting flipping slightly undercooked dough in a sizzling pan was slightly ridiculous and a bit funny if Illumi was not so worried at the possibility of the apartment catching fire.

 

"What are you doing."

His voice made the other man jump and almost drops the hot pan in his hand to his bare feet.

"HOLY FUCK, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MOVE SO SILENTLY?! You almost gave me a heart attack!! "

"You are in relatively good shape and at the prime of your young, so sadly for me, that would be impossible. "

" I know, I know, I know, it was an image!! And what do you mean sadly for you????" 

"Not the point here. What are you doing."

"I’m making pancake. Isn’t it obvious?"

 

llumi examined the precarious pile of slightly undercooked, but also weirdly burned pile of dough resting in a plate next to the stove. Right. Pancakes. Of course. It was almost laughable if this was not so pathetic.

"And what’s the occasion?"

"… I wanted to say sorry about last night. Please don’t kill me."

"Actually, I think I have more chance of dying than you. That is, if I attempt to eat those pancakes. But the sentiment behind them is understood, though absolutely unnecessary."

"Can I for once fear for my life without you mocking me?"

 

The long haired man didn’t know if the other was joking with him or not. He didn’t have the intention of killing Leorio for practical reasons, but if the situation came, nothing was discouraging him of doing so. But he was pretty sure that his roommate learned to, despite himself, accept those conditions and that was part of the reason he didn’t attempt to change apartment.  Anyway, as Leorio put the last of the attempted pancake monstrosity on the plate, Illumi sighed and shared his thoughts:

"Last night would have been shitty with or without your presence."

"Am I an indicative for shitty things now?"

 

llumi ignored the remark said with amusement and simply continued to the surprise of his companion: 

"I’m sorry about having punched Tompa in the face at the end of yesterday night." 

"Ah no, that’s ok, it’s fine!" 

"I should have done it earlier, when he entered the apartment in the first place. I will know better for next time."

"Euurh, it’s fine, like I said, that guy really deserved it, so don’t worry about it!"

"I am not worried about this. But I could be worried about you. I just punched your friend in the face, you know?"

"Well he really had it coming you know! I can’t tolerate that guy!!"

"… You are supposed to be friends. I fail to understand how this relationship works."

"Jeez Illumi, just let it go ok?! We’re not really friends for that matter! Tompa just tags alone with the group, but nobody fucking likes him! We just don’t know how he always finds us and how to get rid of him!"

"You could kill him."

"… Aren’t you supposed to be a lawyer?"

"Nobody has to know. I know how to hide a body. I know some peoples that could help you committing the act if you’re too afraid. You just have to keep your mouth shut and I will keep mine closed too. He would just disappear without a trace."

"… Sometimes, I wonder if you’re joking and this sort of things is your twisted sense of humor. But you just seem so serious, I’m not even going to ask."

"Good decision. You really don’t want to know."

 

And after that, a comfortable sort of silence fell between them, with Illumi simply starting the machine for the morning coffee and Leorio looking at his pile of pancakes creation with pride, that is until he attempted to mouth one, for which the entire pile got thrown out in the trash. Leorio than desperately tried to remove the taste of them from his tongue by munching on a wet rag. Gross.

Well, at least this time, Illumi didn’t have to perform CPR. You would think that a future doctor would pay more attention to not choke on food or get food poisoning, but the apprentice lawyer had his own experiences begging to differ.

Leorio was a complete failure at keeping himself alive most of the time and it was sad in its own way, just as much as it was absolutely entertaining to watch.

 

The coffee machine biped, its unholy screech already more awakening for them both than the watery bad coffee it would produce.

Because, really, Illumi didn’t have much room to speak, because how was it possible to be so clueless that he failed at making a proper cup of coffee?

So the attempt at brewing coffee went down the drain of their sink, like it did most morning were the roommates actually tried to be productive and not just survive on store-bought meal. But neither he or Leorio cared about that right now, as they found bagels miraculously uneaten in a corner of their fridge. They were a little stiff, but still better than nothing, so Illumi dig in, only spreading a little bit of jam on them, while the other man, sitting across from him, was messing up on his phone.

Surely, the electronic thing could not be _that_ interesting.

 

"Would you mind showing me where the club we went to last night was again?" 

And that was enough for Leorio to drop his phone in his glass of orange juice.

 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, Machi, how do you get your hair to be so flawless all of the time ~?"

The pink haired girl only rolled her eyes, glared at him and continued to attempt at flattening her unruly bangs, but only managing to ruffling them even more as they continued to defy gravity, under Hisoka amused eyes. He continued to watch her carefully as the girl was trying to prepare herself in for the night, along with all the other people working with them, reassembled in the back room to get ready. Machi was always moody when seeing him and it greatly amused him. The two only knew each other for at most a few months, but that didn’t mean that they were getting along or were friends, or maybe that was just what the pink haired girl said so to herself.

She could not stay in denial to his indisputable charm forever after all ~.

(Even if his last attempt at asking her to go out to eat lunch ended up with the man tied up by some handy rope the girl had discovered. He was only found out hours later, in a darkened corner of the club and in a state he didn’t like thinking about, possibly more turned on that he had ever been in his life.)

 

Still with the amused glint in his eyes, the pink haired man tried to comb an hand in Machi hair, only to be swapped away and menaced with a bottle of hairspray, that would probably not do much (unless combined with a lighter, but this was Feitan off-day, so no risk of that happening). Still, being menaced as he was only attempting to help her, how rude.

"Shouldn’t your dirty ass get prepared instead of sprouting out nonsense?" 

"Aaaw Machi, you wound me so hard, you hurt my soul! I assure you that all parts of my anatomy are clean, thank you very much!"

"Nobody cares about your anatomy here Hisoka. Literally nobody cares."

"How mean! I’m sure Kurapika care about my anatomy, right?"

"Please keep your anatomy to yourself."

 

he blond was simply sitting in front of their respective mirror and styling their hair. They didn’t even look at the two people arguing when replying. Hisoka smirked,  already getting bored with Machi. After all, he had found a new victim~.

Kurapika had not been working at the strip club for very long (even less than Hisoka), but they were a natural at the job and fitted right in. But that didn’t mean that they didn’t continue to interest Hisoka. The blond had such an aura around themself and seemed to carry such a burden – He could guess that being a stripper was not the first plan for the young adult and the older stripper could only wonder what exactly had brought them to do this kind of business and chose this particular club especially.

Because, another true thing you could say was that none of the person working here were exactly normal and also none of them did it for the sole purpose of stripping. No they all had other goals and aspirations deep in the underground and finding them out, exposing them, finding your ally weakness – it made Hisoka so excited, he could basically just orgasm thinking about the idea.

And Hisoka was not innocent at all here. He too came to this club for his own dirty dirty reasons. And he could not wait to met his goal, even if he did have fun, messing with all of those people.

When you are just too beautiful for your own eyes, it is important to share, see?

 

So, still smirking, he slowly crossed the room to sit on Kurapika dresser and look  into the other brown eyes. They had, under the cheap crappy lights, almost like a red hue, mesmerizing and capturing him into a trap reeking of metal and blood. Such beautiful eyes, it was an understanding that lots of their clients had grown a preference for the young adult, probably also for their androgynous features. Hisoka could understand their interest, because he was just as fascinated. Kurapika seemed to have a logical head on their shoulder, so certainly didn’t come here because of financial problem and as far as Hisoka knew, didn’t have any addiction, nor was into the other deals the club offered – mostly, prostitution on the black market. So, he could only wonder- what were the motivations of Kurapika?

Ah, it was exciting.  It was exciting just wondering, because surely the motivation would not disappoint him. Ah, he could only imagine them, but what possibly was the blond willing to put on the line, what would they do to met their expectations,  what could they do, would they crash and burn and make a terrible mistake, would they sore up high in the sky, defeating all obstacles in their way, how would they grow as a person, would they crumble, would they die, ah, this was so exciting, so exciting, _so exciting_!!

 

"… Hisoka. I just told you. Keep your anatomy to yourself."

Ah, he had lost control of himself once again, hadn’t he? Ignoring the erection now resting in his pants, the older man looked at Kurapika that was examining him with a clear disgust in their eyes. Oh, the way their nose scrunched up when they were disgusted, so cute, it was so adorable! But no, he had to get back to business, even if he wanted to play with his little friend. And so he slowly leaned in to be face to face with the blonde, looking into their eyes and smiling when he felt the other tense, but not moving even from one millimeter. Hisoka wasn’t sure if he wanted to see them back off or leaning in as well, but he know, this would surely be interesting...

"I don’t see you complaining much about me being so close to you ~"

"That doesn’t mean I appreciate it."

"That doesn’t mean you hate it either~. Just admit it: you like me!"

"There’s a big distance between hate and like, so don’t assume that just because you can’t find one of those things, it ultimately means that the other must be there. That would be assuming that there are only those two emotions to the human spectrum."

"Aww, you’re so smart Kurapika! You know, I like them pretty and smart"

" … Just go back to getting prepared." 

"Yes master ♡."

 

The argument between them was friendly and a bit flirty – at least, from Hisoka point of view of course. But really, the older man had a legitimate fascination with Kurapika and if he could help them meet their objectives, no matter what it would entails, he would in a heartbeat. After all, a game was always more fun with more pawns to dispose of. But no, he didn’t want to get rid of Kurapika just yet. They hadn’t finish growing. Then he could consume them. But really it was always so sad to lose one of his toys after destroying it, so maybe he would keep the remains.

Ah, who knew what he would do! So much possibility, so much idea, it made his heart pounds in his chest!

 

"Isn’t it a little soon to see Hisoka anatomy so early in the night?"

Ah, this was just getting more exciting. Hisoka turned to see the other man joining their preparation, his slicked back black hair shining under the cheap lights of the room, revealing the strange reversed cross tattoo he had on his forehead. His dark eyes were examining him with just the right amount of distanced emotion, impossible to read in the black black pupils. He could already feel his heart pounding louder in his ears and his body getting ready to move, to pound on his prey. The man of undetermined age always had this presence whenever he walked into a room, forcing every eyes watching to focus on him, as if he was a God in this world of mere mortal things. Superior, ruling them all, but never an imposed regime had been so sweet. His smooth voice could have ordered you to kill yourself and you would have executed his wishes, without any regrets simply to meet his demands. As he sit a little farther away than all the other people working tonight, proving once again his superiority, Hisoka could not help but keep his eyes on him, examining his every move, observing him in all of his assets.

There was the reason why he was in this room in the first place. His motivation, his goal, his finality and the whole purpose on why he was here, what he wanted, what he would have. And he could not wait to taste how the other would taste, just how he would move from under him, how he would sound, how he would look. He couldn’t help to experiment all of those things, to completely strip down his prey and have his way with him.

 

Chrollo Lucilfer was going to be his, no matter what other people thought.

 

 

* * *

 

"Hey Killua, what do you wanna do tonight?"

Killua slowly turned to look at the black haired man he had invited over. Gon and him only knew each other for a few weeks now, they had met in their first college class, but they had automatically clicked and became best friend. On the campus, it was impossible to find one without the other, even if they studied in complete different program altogether, Gon aiming to be an archaeologist and him well… He was studying art. 

Killua had no idea just where he was going in life so far – there was so much more talented artist in his program alone- but everything was better than to do what his family wanted him to do. Plus, with the presence of a friend in his life, his plans were even more unclear than when he first decided to leave home and live on its own.

Killua didn’t really have anyone growing up. He was home-schooled for most of his childhood, and once he was 12, was put in a private high school with other children coming from rich family and wanting to perpetuate their tradition. He hated them. He hated them all and didn’t even attempt to open up to anyone at all.

 

They reminded him of his oldest brother, talking about duties and honor to the family, it made Killua sick in the stomach hearing all of those things. Could they not think on their own, have their own plan and pleasure, their own goals and not simply what their parent taught them?

Sometimes, he didn’t know if he should pity Illumi or be scared of him, seeing him so empty.

 

And this feeling of unease only grew more when he was announced at being the new heir of the family. He didn’t want that. He didn’t knew what he wanted yet, but he was sure that he didn't want that. He wanted to have his own ideas, to break free, to think on his own, not to get trapped in all he loathed, stuck in everything he dreaded and what he was afraid of. So what did he do?

He ran away. He ran away like a coward, getting a shitty little apartment of his own with the money he won on his summer job as well as money from, uh, other family business. He lived on his own and attending the local college in art. It was the first time seeing so much people in one place, but strangely, Killua thought that he fitted right in.

 

At first, Killua didn’t really care much about art in general growing up. Sure, they had some oil painting on the walls of the corridor of their mansion, but the interest grew when he entered his teenage years. Or really, the hell high school was for him.

All those faces watching him, just because he was different then all of them, not just a mindless robot obeying order… Those eyes, he wanted to gouge them out of their skull and watch all of those idiots bleed. He had such fury, such envies… And he drew them out , in black and white on paper, with the occasional splash of red ink thrown in the mix, disturbing violent image of bodies being ripped apart and tortured, not what a 12 years old mind should produce and just getting more and more graphic over the years.

Just the way to vent out his frustration also became the image of his freedom, as gory and bloody as this one was. And he finally escaped the hell he was caught in to finally give himself 100% into his art.

 

But now a day… It was getting more and more difficult to draw those things. Those drawing in black and white didn’t make sense anymore when he now knew what colors in life looked like. It was hard to draw dark negative thing when he finally met true light, almost blinding, but oh, he wanted to stay close to it so much. Gon had opened a whole new world of perspective for him and his heart was pounding so hard in his chest just thinking about it.

He just had a friend and already, he was ruining this friendship with having all of those feelings.

Killua was not sure yet, just what they were, but he knew, those feelings were more than just friendship. He didn’t even know what friendship was, but it surely didn’t include wanting to be by their side at all time of the day, no matter what would occur and wanting them so bad, their smile, their lips, their sunshine and clouds, he felt a burning in his chest seizing him up and heating him up completely.

 This was not supposed to happen in friendship. Actually the only other feeling this could translate to, the younger man didn’t even want to think about the word, because then it would be all too real and painfully,  because if he felt that way, surely he would lost Gon and that was the last thing he wanted. 

It hurt, but he wanted to stay by the other side no matter what he felt.

He didn’t have to say anything. It was ok really.

 

"Killua? Are you ok? You just zoomed out of me! "

"Yeah, yeah, I’m ok idiot."

"You’re the idiot! And anyway, I asked what you wanted to do! Oh, we could rent a movie or play video game and hey, Killua, are you even listening to me?!"

Killua could only smile seeing his friend being as usual so excited and basically bouncing on his bed where he was sitting (yes,  the image of Gon on his bed also gave him lots of less innocent image to his mind, but he preferred to ignore them for the moment…). Really, it was not the first time he had invited the other boy to his apartment or that they planned to do something just the two of them together after their classes, but somehow… He wanted to do something different, even if each moments spend in Gon company were extraordinary. He wanted to know something, test something out and maybe, just maybe if Gon accepted it… Maybe there was a chance of eventually, his feelings could be returned. And if not, if the other didn’t wanna try and said no, then he still could play it off as a joke with no problem and no worries.

 

 "Hey, Gon, have you ever gone to a strip club?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka basically just want to sleep with Chrollo and that's all of his motives. As you can guess, ''Anatomy'' is indeed, referring to something else.  
>  
> 
>  


	3. Backstage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Where Leorio gets a lap dance_
> 
>  
> 
> Chrollo is a useful tool to move the plot really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning, there's a implied lap-dance happening here. It is not heavily described, but yeah, it happens.  
> As always, English is not my first language, so please pardon any mistake!

"GOD DAMN IT ALL!"

Leorio day was NOT going according to plan. It was very much NOT going according to plans AT ALL. Well, also it was not every day that his plans included going in a strip club in the middle of the afternoon. But you know, there was always those kinds of days where the plans go out the window and crash down in the street, just like the ugly plates his last ex had crashed through the kitchen window when they broke up. The porcelain had been a pain in the ass to clean up and explaining just where the plates had gone was an even harder pain in the ass to explain to his roommate.

But you know, when Illumi was not freaking him out, the long black haired man was actually a decent roommate, if not minimally a pretty decent human being to live with. Even if, most of the time, Leorio had no idea what was going on in his head.

That was probably a good thing. The apprentice doctor was not sure if his suspicion about Illumi were true. Even if it was only rumors, just dirty talks about an awkward unsocial person, after living for now 2 years with the soon to be lawyer, Leorio was not sure what was fiction and what was reality anymore. The rumors were surely exaggerated… Right? But even if they were just the product of exaggeration, they had to have some truth as a ground to grow them… Right? But just what was true? What was not? Leorio didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know for his own safety, so he could sleep a little safer at night, repeating and repeating to himself, that _surely_ his own roommate could _never_ be a murderer… Right?

 

So, yeah, he didn’t want to know what was going on in his roommate head, but at time, he was really wondering.

Just what was the other thinking? Just what was the other thinking?

Just what the fuck was the other thinking.

Oh, he wondered, alright!  He wondered as he searched for the other man, standing in the back room of the gay club they went to last night, a place where he was sure, they weren’t supposed to be. Not in any world, nor in any universe, were they suppose to be here. Just what was he doing, standing there like an idiot, because he, out of the stupid thing he could do, like dating an ex professional wrestler or trying to swallow a whole lemon – yes he was still traumatized by Illumi giving him mouth to mouth, thank you very much-, so yeah, out of all the stupid things he could do, he decided to LOST his roommate that had wandered alone in the back room as soon as they arrived in the club.

Just what the fuck.

Just who in the world, WHO in the world could manage not only to lose someone, like an entire human being, not only that, but also losing them in a motherfucking strip club out of all the place and especially in the  **back rooms** of the club,  where people were not supposed to be. Not his idiot of a roommate, not him either, not anyone!!

 

Really. What was he doing here?

"What are you doing here?"

… He was doomed. This was a practical joke played by the universe at this point.

 

"I will not repeat myself. This is an employee only place. What are you doing here?"

Leorio slowly turned around to see who had addressed him, already prepare to get in a defensive position in case the person physically tried to kick him out – he would not get down without a fight-, so he turned around to see who had talked to him. Automatically, he felt his breath stop, his heart practically skipping a beat. Someone was watching him, with shining brown eyes, kind of reminding him of the color of mahogany.

That color was bringing back heartbreaking memories, but tender ones as well, of a coffin made from the same wood, slowly getting buried in the ground, shovel of dirt covering a part of his past. The eyes slowly blinked, bringing him back to present days and once again, his breath was caught and heart stopped when he looked at the other person. Blond hair and gorgeous tan skin was meeting his eyes, the other being in a way more revealing outfit than what was necessary, even for a stripper. Only pearls was dressing up their torso and a tiny cloth around their waist, just covering the privates, with also strangely, a feather peaking out of the blond hairs. The outfit was probably a bad parody of an indigenous outfit and even it was looking very sexy on the other person, Leorio could only be appealed by the bad taste of it.

Right, he was in the middle of some shady corridor giving to the back rooms of a gay strip club and he was offended by the cultural appropriation of a stripping costume. He clearly had his priorities at the right place. Definitely what he should worry about right now.

 

Anyway, as he looked at the blond approaching him, their eyes, so beautiful and yet so painful to look at, filled with questions, he could feel his throat gets drier as if his mouth just run out of saliva. In every way the other was moving – their hips swaying slowly, the clothes moving to reveal and cover again straps of tanned skin, and pearls, pearls slowly bouncing on their flat chest, making a slight clicking sounds at each step the other made. Leorio was transfixed and could not keep his eyes away. He didn’t know if the person in front of him was male or female, nor did he wanted to guess. If he said female, well, it seemed that lots of evident physical attribute was already proving him wrong, but if he said male… No, he could not let his thoughts go in that direction! He was straight! He could not be attracted to a random male stripper he just met! And anyway, there was more gender than just male and female! As a future doctor he knew that you could not make assumption on someone gender just by looking at their parts. That was fundamentally a wrong attitude to have if you wanted to make someone feel comfortable and able to have a relation of trust 

"I will not repeat myself. You’re not supposed to be here. I will ask you to explain yourself or to leave immediately."

 

Oh right, the blond was still there, waiting for an answer. An answer he could not exactly give, so he nervously looked around, watching everything except the stripper in front of him, before stammering awkwardly:

"Euurh, right. I am not supposed to be here. Let me just find something and I will be gone before you even notice I was there in the first time."

But, he was then cut by the other in front of him, replying with a dry tone void of humor:

"Right, you know it, so you really shouldn’t be here in the first place. And isn’t a little late to say you will be gone before I notice you, since well, I already noticed you in the first place?... I am not sure what you are searching for, but I can assure you, you won’t find it here."

 

The interest of the future doctor grew once more. Just what did the blond thought he was searching? What was there to search in the first place at the end of the back rooms of some cheap gay strip club? Well, it was true he was trying to find someone, but certainly not a stripper, nor was he interested in some… Other deals the club was offering. Just what did the blond took him for, a pervert?? No, he was not like that – well, most of the time he was not, he liked having sex and looking at girls,  but really it was not a vice or anything. Good things were always better in modest quantity, even if Illumi seemed to think that the minimal amount of sleeping around he did was already too much. It’s not like he had someone new in his bed every night or every few weeks, also it was not like he was spending all of his time at clubs to drink and dance the night away and especially, it was not like he was incapable to be in a long term relationship with someone, even if those usually ended badly in his case!! Why was the other looking at him and judging him in the first place without even knowing him or knowing his name!...

Thinking back about it, he didn’t know the blonde name either. Despite being probably one of the most beautiful person Leorio had ever seen, he didn’t know the other name!  He didn’t know why, but he feel a desire to know, to learn this simple detail about the person he just met, as well as to know everything there was to know about them. Without even looking into their clear brown eyes, the blonde was effecting such a fascination on him, he didn’t know what to do with his hands or with his mouth:

"Hey… Can I ask your name first?"

 

The sentence was said in a more stiff tone than he intended and automatically, the stripper in front of him was physically tensing up as if expecting a fight to happen. Really, just what was going on in the blonde head and who did he think the student was? In a fight, Leorio was not totally clueless and he had a bit of a temper making him react sometimes a little too much for the situation, but never would he want to hurt the short and practically naked little thing in front of him! He was just a normal guy trying to live his life and not get drag by his idiot of a roommate to the back of a gay strip club!!

Well, he already failed, alright, but still!

 

"Why should I give you my name?"

Hey oh, back to earth Leorio, get your head out of the clouds and your booty back to the poorly lit corridor. The stripper had taken a defensive tone and Leorio could only produce a long sigh. He was tired to always be judged, just because he was tall and looked a bit dominating, in his suits or out of them. As he had learned, it was difficult to get rid of the image other had of him. He was just… He was just so tired of it all, seeing the other with all of his walls up. He didn’t want to have to take down walls when there was a door present to be used. But the door was locked and no matter how much he tried knocking, it would not open, not to him anyway. He was just so tired and frustrated of it all…

"… My name is Leorio. I am studying to be a doctor. This is not the first time I've come to this club, although it is usually to watch the girls here and not the men. I am in those back rooms because I’ve lost my roommate that wandered in here when I turned my back for one second. I am concerned about him, because he is not the best in social situations and I would like to prevent a murder before it happens. As soon as I find him, I will be out of here and you never have to see me again. Heck, I probably will never want to come here again after everything that happened! Does that satisfy your question?"

 

A long silence fell after his rant. The blond was still watching him, but replacing the mistrust in their brown eyes was now surprise and… He really didn’t know how to name this emotion, but it made his heart beat faster in his chest and his throat feel even dryer. Why did looking at the stripper made him feel so much at lost?... The shade of their eyes, almost a red color, they were bringing back sad memories of a different time,  a different place and a different him, but even overlooking that, the stripper was literally taking his breath away. Ah, it was unfair, why did the other had to look so sexy and fascinating?!

"… I realize I misjudged you, I hope you can forgive me. My name is Kurapika."

 

Leorio found himself once again to be completely speechless. Was… The other apologizing? Well, certainly he didn’t see that coming, but mostly, now, an even more unexpected thing he could never have guessed happening was there, he now knew the stripper name. Kurapika… Such a weird name actually. Well, he really didn’t have room to talk here, but it had such a ring to it and was so unique… He could only repeat it and repeat it again to himself. It was nice to finally have something associated with the pretty face in front of him. He had not expected the apology or the change of judgment from them. Progressively, he could get to know more and more about the other, not even knowing where this desire and fascination came from, but he repeated and repeated the name he now knew on his lips, Kurapika, Kurapika, Kurapika…

 

"Kurapika? What are you doing with a client in the middle of the corridor?"

 

… Oh no. This was bad, wasn’t it?... Leorio hadn’t heard the other person coming from behind him, but he could automatically see the blond tensing up again, after hearing the sweet slurry voice resonate. All of his walls were up, once again, and he would almost feel a little annoyed at seeing all of his progress go to waste. But if this voice made the other tense up, surely it could not mean anything good. So, the student, now also on his guard, slowly turned around to look at who was approaching them. The man was slightly shorter than him and it felt wrong somehow, because the aura he was emitting made him seem so much taller, as if Leorio was the one that needed to look up at him.

He had slicked back black hair, dark eyes that were unreadable, a strange cross tattoo on his forehead and a smirk on his lips. The smile was unnerving, as if the other man knew exactly what was going on in there and could use all of this knowledge toward them. It made his skin crawl and his stomach sink and he could only steal a look at Kurapika. They looked even more tense than before and the soon to be doctor could clearly see a drop of transpiration slowly go down the side of their face. Their teeth were clenched as well as their fist when they replied to the guy still standing with them:

"Shouldn’t you be working right now Chrollo?"

 

The name was said with such anger and yet controls, as if Kurapika was a boiling kettle only letting off invisible steam, but hiding inside a more boiling and clear rage.  It was just the warning a sign of an explosion and it was terrifying to see the blond barely control themselves and not knowing exactly when they would just have enough and spill the hot liquid anger everywhere.

Suddenly, he was not sure if he wanted to know everything about the shorter stripper… Just for safety reasons.  Getting to know Kurapika was like playing with fire, you look at the flame so beautiful and it’s only when it’s too late that you registered that you have burned and scarred all of your fingers.

He already carried a scar in the palm of his right hand; he didn’t need any more bruise caused by others.

"The question is, shouldn’t you? For my part, I am just grabbing something from my room, but as I see, you have no reasons to not be off duty right now. And yet, here you are, here with a client. Aah, has he paid for… Special services?"

The young adult basically choked on his spit right then and there. Oh no. What was the other stripper insinuating? Just what did he have in mind?! Of course, Leorio knew that apart from the show they hosted, the club offered also private dance and more… Specific activities to customers willing to pay for them, but he had no idea how far those actually went and the idea that someone could suggest that he and the blonde... No, no, no. 

"A lap dance actually. He paid for a lap dance. I was bringing him to a more private room."

 

… He was dead.

This was it, he was dead. That was the proof he was waiting for. He died and this, everything that happened to him, from his roommate willingly putting his feet in a gay club, not only once but twice, to meeting a surreal pretty blonde in the badly lit back corridor of said strip club and then being offered a lap dance as a cover-up to make their nosy bossy coworker go away,  **all of this** was fake. It was only a product of his brain as his body was probably in a comatose situation. This was the only explanation he could come up with (Apart from supposing it was a dream, but no, sadly his dreams were a lot weirder than that) and he felt some sort of relief come to him just knowing that this after all was just a fantasy and couldn’t be real…  Right? RIGHT?

This could not be real, so he didn’t have to think about it. Just breathe Leorio. Just breathe.

 

"Well then, I don’t want to caught you up here any longer. Go ahead; I will be right behind you."

He registered someone grabbing his sleeve and starting to drag him along the corridor. But he was so far from it, his brain was not able to registered where exactly he was going. All he could feel was a smaller hand holding the sleeve of his suit and someone, watching the both of them with black eyes, piercing the back of his neck. His neck actually felt really warm just like his cheeks and the top of his ears. Urgh. The last thing he wanted was to look like a pink blazing glassy eyed maiden, like the kind you would met in a bad pornographic flick. Although, the situation he was living really did start to vaguely feel like some bad porno. One with a plot so unnecessarily complicated that no one paid attention to it. It was not exactly the type of porn he wanted to be featured in...

His body was thrown on a soft velvety chair and once again, Leorio was back to the present. Kurapika was standing in front of him, hands on their hips and a faraway look in their hazel eyes. He had been installed in a soft couch that probably had seen better days he guesses, that was situated in a room full of strobe colorful light, but void of any person. The soft cushion was pretty much the only piece of furniture present in the small room, which didn’t leave much to the possible utility of this one. The decor was a little too pink for his taste, but that was the less important issue right now as he felt one the blonde hand slowly come down to him and caress one of his hips.

 

"Give me your wallet."

" … What?!" 

"Do not ask question and just give me your wallet."

 

Did this counted as a robbery?... Despite himself, the medical student searched his pockets to find the wallet and gave it to the stripper in front of him. The hand left his thighs and that was when Leorio noticed that Kurapika touch was practically like fire. He was not sure what would happen to him if he should let that fire consume him, but Kurapika definitely was fire, dangerous and too hot to be safe. Leorio could only groan when he saw the other open up his wallet, look at his cards and also, take a few bills to store under the cloth around his waist. He probably had underwear on. This realization made him feel a little better. But Kurapika was still looming over him, getting closer once again, to the point where he was basically mounting on his laps and Leorio felt a little breathless.

"Huh… Wha-what are you doing?"

"Well, I was checking your identity of course. It’s a good thing you didn’t attempt to lie to me, Leorio Paladinknight. So, I’m guessing your mentioned roommate is really somewhere here. This is not an ideal situation, as I’m sure Chrollo is probably still looming around here and could find them. If you don’t mind, I would like to help you find them after this."

"This? What exactly is this?!"

 

All he could see was the smirk shining on the other face. Their face was suddenly incredibly close; this was all he could see. Their bodies also were incredibly close, with the blonde mounting and dominating him. For something that was not real, the warmth of the other as well as their touch still felt like it was burning his skin. The brown eyes of the stripper watching him were shining with some mischievous light and he was not entirely sure what was happening.

"Well, you just paid me for a lap dance. It is only good business that I may as well give you one."

 

… He was not sure if this was paradise or hell.

 

But damn, if this was hell, it had a nice ass.

 

* * *

 

Illumi was back to a place he never thought he would be and we’re he probably should not be, thinking back about it. But who cared, it was not the first time he was somewhere he should not be and the back of a strip-club was probably the less dangerous place where he could get caught. So, he continued to walk in the corridor without a care. He didn’t have time to worry if he was supposed to be here or not, or if what he was doing was right or wrong. He came here with a goal, a goal he was set on accomplishing. He would find the pink haired stripper and find just who he was and what he wanted. It was simple enough and the only part of this plan he had no control of was if the other male would answer his questions or not. Or well, more accurately, with what methods would he have to use to get answers. Because Illumi always got what he wanted in the end.

And right now, what he wanted was the other man.

 

"Nice to see you here Illumi."

The long haired man crooked up an eyebrow and slowly turned around, having recognized the deep velvety voice. He and Chrollo Lucilfer had been, on certain occasions, business partners for multiple activities, linking the mafia and the group the other was leading. But one place he certainly didn’t expect to find the other man was a gay strip club. This place just got more and more exciting definitely. The other male was slightly shorter than him, but still opposed respect as he walked, head high and wearing a strange fur trimmed open coat revealing his impressive pectorals and abs.

Illumi didn’t really want to know why the gang leader was doing in a gay strip club, working apparently as a stripper, but his presence here certainly indicated that this club was not exactly normal. This was a sign that there was something going on in there. Oh, he could not wait to know. But first, he had to deal with the other male in front of him, even if Chrollo didn’t seem to question his presence or wonder what he was doing here too much. Which was certainly a bit weird, but not unacceptable.

 

"It is nice seeing you as well Chrollo."

"I have a feeling that what you are searching will be find two doors to your left."

"… Thank you."

 

The sudden help certainly stunned him in place and could only thank Chrollo before this one disappeared in another room. Illumi slowly advanced to himself open the door the other man had lead him to. This, of course, attracted the attention of one man, sitting alone in the room, in front of a mirror facing the door, his golden eyes traveling from his own reflection, to the one of Illumi that had just entered. He could clearly see the grin blossoming on the man face as he passed a hand in his pink muzzled up hair.

"Well, well, what do we have here, seems my sweet thing missed me…"

 

… Somewhere in the back of his mind, Illumi wondered just how Chrollo knew what or more exactly who he was searching for. But that was not the time to question this.

"I am not your sweet thing."

 

To that, the other man only chased air with one hand, still the smirk resting on his lips:

"Details, details, doll~! Anyway, what are you doing in my room if you didn’t come here for me? Ah, you’re making me so happy, sweet thing, I could just burst!"

" … The only thing that’s bursting here is your ego."

"Aaaw, why aren’t you more nice to me my sweet? Or is it your way to show you love me?! Then, I shall accept all of your love!"

 

Illumi could only slowly blink and look disgusted at the other, wondering if he was really serious or not. No one talked like that for real, right? But, no the look on the other man face was serious as well as mocking, still wearing the same smirk. He just felt like attempt at murdering him all over again but instead, closed the door behind him and approached the stripper.

" … I don’t know why you’re referring to me as your sweet or why you are so certain that I supposedly “love you”, but I will order you to please refrain from doing so."

"You? Ordering me? Now, that is a funny thought, my sweet… And I will not refrain, as you say, as long as I don’t have another name to attach to your lovely person."

"Do I have any reasons to give you my name?"

"Well, consider this. You are the one standing in my room, with no invitation other than a promise of a good night if you came around. I don’t ask for much, simply a name so I know what I should be screaming when the moment happen - "

The stripper was once again shut up by a hand coming to his throat to squeeze a little. Just as a menace, not a real threat. However, the pink haired man, smirking once again, considered this like a real treat. Illumi didn’t even intend to choke the other man again, his control just had slipped when he heard the stripper say those disgusting things. And here he was, a hand on the other neck, squeezing slightly. It was rare that his control just completely evaded him like this, but it seemed to happen more and more in this man presence.  It was infuriating as well as exciting. He just had this one man as a weakness, this one somehow getting to know all of his trigger and how to burn him aflame, to lose control and consume everything he wanted to bite. But since it was just one man, he just had to eliminate him and he could be flawless once again.

Once there was no mistake, he could finally find perfection, at the top of everything. And it could be so easy to dispose of this man, he just had to squeeze a little more and no more smirk on his lips, no more shimmer in his eyes, gone gone gone.

 

But no, this would not do. It was only fair if he got to play with his prey a little. Plus, the other man didn’t seem impressed at all, he just smiled more in a sign of interest and asked:

"Oh? So we’re straight to business I assume?"

To that answer, Illumi just squeezed a little more before saying in a flat voice:

"If you assume that this is business, than yes."

" Always so charming my sweet."

Oh, if only he could make the other drop the smirk and the flirtatious attitude, he would do so without an ounce of regrets. This was all but an act to annoy him, but damn, it was working and that fact just made him so much more frustrated. But really, it only was working at making him angry and wants to squeeze the living life out of the stripper. But no, he could not do that, sad and yet so true, he was not satisfied yet, even with the other body underneath him and his hands around his neck. He was not satisfied yet, because the stripper was still smirking under him, as if Illumi was not under his skin. The other thought he was still in complete control, knowing that the long haired man would not kill him…

But still, having his hands around the other man was nice in the weirdest way. Just knowing that he had the power under his hands if he wanted to. He just had to squeeze and…

 

"ILLUMI NO!!"

 

Illumi could only open large eyes and turn to the door, seeing Leorio burst in the room, followed by a little blonde thing. Oh right, he had his roommate guide him to the club, before he had disappeared… But it had been a few minutes already that he was talking with the pink haired stripper, still under him and looking at the new additions to the room with interest. Surely, it could not have taken Leorio this long to find him, something had surely happen… This impression was reformed by the blushing cheeks of his companion and the way his clothes were a bit misplaced. Illumi was kind of curious. So he let his roommate approach them, the medical student still looking at him with large eyes and a stunned look on his face. Why was he looked at him like that…?

Oh right. He was choking someone.

This was such a simple thing to forget!

 

"ILLUMI, SERIOUSLY STOP. I SAID NO!! BAD ILLUMI. Can’t I let you out of my sight for 10 minute without you seriously killing someone?!"

The long haired man only blinked once again, not removing his hands from the other guy neck, but looking at Leorio with the most unimpressed stare he could master. He also stole a look at the blond that followed the black haired medical student in the room. They were dressed in a rather revealing outfit so he guessed that they were a stripper as well. What really made him wonder was how them and his roommate knew each other. He would be the first one to know after all if Leorio ever befriended a stripper, giving his rather loud bedroom activities.

Talking about attraction, his eyes stopped once again on his stripper that was still calmly sitting in his chair and smirking. He seemed just more excited about the new additions to the room, his golden eyes traveling from one person to another, stopping a minute longer on the long haired man when he noticed his stare. The eyes contact made Illumi a bit uncomfortable, so he simply turned once again to his roommate to say:

"I am not killing him, I am simply choking him. He will not die. Yet."

"And what difference would that make, uh?! Come on, let’s go, we’re getting out of here!!"

"I’m doing something right now."

"Shouldn’t you say someone~?"

 

The latter sentence had been sing-sung by the pink haired man still calmly sitting down and sporting a shit-eating grin on his lips. He seemed so proud of this little addition,  said with his sweet teasing voice, as if everything that was happening were merely a game for him, with no risk of getting hurt. He was so blissfully unaware or just didn’t think he could ever suffer from this, Illumi squeezed a little more his neck, properly crushing the windpipe, before declaring in a dark voice:

"You say something like that once again and I. Will. End. You."

"JESUS CHRIST ILLUMI"

"Hisoka, please stops provoking him."

 

This time, it was the blond stripper that had piped up and it made Illumi released his grip from surprise. Hisoka… So that was the pink haired man name. This one was softly rubbing his neck and still smiling the same smile shining with malice and perverse amusement:

"I was joking, of course ♡. You may go now my sweet. But I will be sure to find you again… Illumi."

The tone of the man had suddenly changed to become darker and menacing by the end of his sentence, but Hisoka voice was still seductive and slurry even then. It was a promise to meet again and Illumi just realizes that he did not reveal his name to the pink haired man, but it was Leorio that had blown his identity.  But a promise was a promise so he could only answer with the same menacing voice the other had used:

"And I will see you again, Hisoka."

"Aah, you saying my name in such a way… I can’t wait for our next meeting my dear ~."

 

A shiver of disgust run through him as he finally backed up from the stripper, catching his roommate by the sleeve and leaving for the door. Leorio was found struggling to walk forward, not having expected to just be dragged out of here, but he still addressed an awkward smile to the blond and a little wave of the hand:

"It was a nice mounting… Shit, hum, I-I meant… Meeting. It was nice seeing you, meeting you..."

 

The cheeks of his roommate were a blazing pink of embarrassment and Illumi guessed that he had been right; Something surely had happened to make Leorio, usually so confident in his wooing skills, a blushing embarrassing mess. Ugh. Love. It was making him sick. He could only tug the bespectacled man a little more in direction of the door, to cut short the exchange. He didn’t want to see or to hear such bullcrap.

"It was nice meeting you as well, Leorio. Be sure to come back to this club, in case you ever find another roommates lost in those corridors. I will be sure to… Give you a hand, once again."

 

The other man basically choked on his saliva before finally, Illumi and he escaped the room, closing the door behind a shameless blond and an amused pink haired man. It was only then that the expressionless man could turn to his roommate, his eyes asking for an explanation. The other was seemingly in shock, his cheeks a flaming pink and opening and closing his mouth, just like a goldfish. The sight made once again disgust set in Illumi mouth and he let himself curse for once:

"What the hell was that?"

"… I… I actually have no idea… Man, I need a drink…"

" … Good thing this is a club then."

 

Only one look exchanged with the other student told him everything he needed to know. Illumi needed a drink as well.

 

They were getting drunk tonight.


	4. And so, the show begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Where Hisoka is friendly and where Killua have the worst of luck_
> 
>  
> 
> We don’t really learn much about Kurapika plans and, yes, indeed, Killua life suck.

 

* * *

 

''What the hell was that. ''

 

 

Kurapika could only sigh and turned once again to the other stripper calmly sitting down in his chair. Right, Hisoka had watched the scene between them and Leorio. His interest was clear, with a bright twinkle in his golden eyes, watching Kurapika every moves, as a predator would observe his prey. Even just sitting down, Hisoka still was oozing confidence. It was as if, not one minute earlier, he had not found himself to be choked under someone else, with the promise of his death by the other hand. Leorio was not kidding when he said his roommate had ‘‘no social skill’’… And of course, the mentioned roommate had to mess with one of the most dangerous man they knew and even managed to win and find himself to be on top of the other! Yup, Kurapika definitely wanted to ask Leorio for the whole story there, when they would meet again, or really, if they would meet again… But, even when he was under someone and definitely being choked, Hisoka still had conserved his total superiority in himself. It was unnerving, as was the smile the other still was wearing on his lips, that could only bring shivers in the other stripper back. And now, he was smiling the same teasing pleased smile at him, watching his every moves with his eyes made of golden amber. Kurapika just found themself without anything to answer to the man.

Because really, they had no idea what had just happen. Leorio had come, bursting through their life as a tall awkward figure, standing in the middle of a poorly lit corridor, with a lost astray expression on his face and teeth clenched hard with exasperation. It’s true that when they first saw the other man, Kurapika sort of felt intimidated by his height, his suit and the weird sunglasses he was wearing, but really, the medical student proved to have an heart of gold. And just, he had no idea just what had happen then. They became friends, somehow. When did that happen? Leorio seemed so expressive and loud, the exact opposite of the type of people Kurapika would usually befriend with, but the other just had been so awkward… And here, their thought came back to the lap dance that had happened a moment earlier. Automatically, Kurapika could feel the blood rushing to their cheeks. Oh gosh… That happened, right.

 

At first, Kurpika just wanted to protect the other from Chrollo that could easily mess up with the medical student and ruin him if he wanted to. Kurapika didn’t know when exactly the situation had escalated at, _well_ , them escalating the other man. It just seemed like the normal course of action to follow; the blond was not a liar and didn’t promise things they didn’t intend to keep. But… A lap dance?

That was something new, well not exactly, but usually, the client they gave lap dance to were not attractive young man…  And plus, it was probably the first lap dance they gave willingly. The black haired doctor didn’t even have to ask for it and already, Kurapika was all over him and it was quite embarrassing to think about. It was not like they had thought about it, but for once Kurapika didn’t have a plan and simply acted as they wanted to. And they never would have guessed that somewhere on the list of things they wanted to do was willingly giving someone a lap dance.

Because no. The blond usually didn’t enjoy giving them. Actually, the slightest thought of having to climb on the hips of some gross pervert probably twice their age, to give them pleasure by just the right amount of teasing and denying… All of this just made them want to puke, because no matter the roughly three years he had worked as a stripper, it still disgusted him to have to do those things. But Leorio… Leorio had been different. Sure, he certainly looked like all of those perverts and probably was not all innocent – no one ever was, including themself-, but there had been… Kurapika didn’t know how to describe it. A certain kindness to him? He honestly looked he didn’t want to bother the blond and sure, he was a loud and sometime a bit rude, but the stripper could tell that deep down, he was a good man. Just a good man at the worst possible place and worst timing ever and for that, Kurapika did feel an ounce of regrets for their actions.

But the lap dance in itself… It had been nice. The slight touch of Leorio hands on their hips didn’t burn like the ones from anyone else. For most of the dance, the student had kept his eyes on the blond face and that was definitely a change of scenery.  It was nice having a man looking at them, not only for their small stature, but really for who they were. And that made a definite change. Kurapika was not just an object nor a piece of meat for the soon to be doctor. No, to him, they were Kurapika, someone, an actually person. It had been so very long since someone else had looked at them like you’d look at another human being and not just as a tool…

 

It made them feel like their heart suddenly dropped to the bottom of their stomach when they made this realization. It also made them realize for just how long Pairo had been gone.

5 years. It would really soon be 5 years.

 

The thought in itself and realizing that they had less and less thought about him in their everyday life, made Kurapika panic a bit. It was not like they were forgetting him, but the details of their memories were getting hazier, it was getting rarer and rarer for them to think about Pairo. Not that Kurapika really wanted to think about their dead friend when the context of where they were working was in a strip club. But it was going to be fine.  The plan they worked so hard on, all for avenging their friend, it was now in place and ready to be executed. He finally managed to get in the proximity of  _ that man _ . So, it could not fail them after all this time getting to where they were now.

 

A slight cough came from to their left and once again, Kurapika turned their head to look at the pink haired man that was still watching them with interest. Ah right, the blond should not get caught in thought in the presence of Hisoka, who knew what the guy could do to them… The man was dangerous. Kurapika didn’t know what such an individual was doing in such a place, but it was better to have him on their side instead of having against them.

''Aaaw, Kurapika, have you got your eyes on someone by chance?...''

 

This suggestion made them shivers in disgust.  Them, having an eye on someone? What a ridiculous idea. Sure, the student was interesting, but they didn’t saw him in that way… Not that Kurapika could not see why,Leorio was rather attractive… No! They could not let themself think this way; they didn’t have time for romance and things like this. Plus, their heart already belonged to someone else… Relationship now would just ruin all of their plans. He could not let themself be swapped by those emotions. The important thing was doing what had to be done. Even after that, once everything was done, they would not have in minds those kinds of preoccupation, so it was a total waste of time! Even if Leorio had shining brown eyes and his hands were so caring, just a little hesitant when he had hold their body, the hands of a doctor and not of an assassin… He was not like Kurapika. They could never be together like this, so it was useless to think that way. So, finally answering the other man waiting for them, Kurapika sighed:

''My eyes are not caught on anything other than what is ahead of me.''

''Oh, that is such a shame, he was cute! Would you mind presenting him to me?''

 

Hisoka had smirked saying this sentence, probably knowing exactly what sorts of emotion were playing in the blond heart and trying to provoke them. But no. Kurapika was calm and would not be played by the other. That was one of the things their dynamic spoke clearly out. They were on equal ground and if someone played low, the other could also aim low to get even:

''I probably would, if I was not sure you could die by the hands of some stranger. What was that too?''

The pink haired man hysterically laughed at this sentence, before softly patting the blond arm. The contact was very unliked and automatically, Kurapika hit fiercely the other hand, not wanting to be touched by him. Who knew where those hands had gone or what they had done. No hands were ever innocents. We all do things we are not proud of. At this thought, the memory of a rusty chain covered in blood stains came back to them. But it was not the time to think about that. Not now, not ever. Kurapika was brung back to reality by the sound of laughter stopping and the other man voice piping up once again to say:

''You are adorable. Oh darlin g, you really are **~** ''

''I am not.''

''If you say~… Anyway, that was simply one of my play things. I plan to sleep with him, so I won’t die yet and he won’t either. Or who knows. That’s fun, right?''

''What’s with you and being interest in dangerous individuals…?''

''Well, if that doesn’t sound somehow familiar…''

 

To that, Kurapika lightly hit the other man on the arm. Sometime, the strpper didn’t really know what they were doing, voluntary associating with Hisoka, because the pink haired male could be so infuriating and frustrating. But they somehow knew that even if they tried to avoid the pink haired man, he would still be there… He was persistent, as well of being dangerous, so very dangerous. But the other was helping them, providing them with useful information. Kurapika could not simply turn away from him like that. They needed the other help if they ever wanted to realize their plans. It was the only help they could get now.

They didn’t have anyone else.

 

''Don’t put me in the same bag as you Hisoka. I would never do that to you or with anyone else for that matter.''

''This is what you say now darling…''

''Please Hisoka. We are just colleague. May I count on your help or not?''

 

To that, the other stripper smiled and got up on his feet, once again patting Kurapika on the back. The smile on his lips was not inspiring confidence, but it was their best chance at this point, so they didn’t really have another option. They had to trust this man, with the pointy smile and the gleaming golden eyes looking at Kurapika with such ill intent. 

But may as well use him correctly.

 

''Don’t you worry my dear. As long as you hold your end of the bargain, you do not have to worry~… ''

The man continued to smile, while continuing to move to the door, exiting the room.

 

But before Hisoka left, Kurapika made sure to be heard:

 

''You give me Chrollo first. Then, you may use him however you like.''

 

 

* * *

 

 

''Well… Here we are.''

 

Killua simply looking at the club in front of them, before turning to his best friend that was standing next to him. Their bodies were close, standing side by side, and it would be so easily to just take his hands and… But no, he should not let himself think going in that direction, it was already almost a miracle that the other had agreed to come to the strip club and was standing there with him!

Actually, about that, the white haired man was pretty sure Gon had no idea what was waiting for him inside the club, looking at it with the eyes of an innocent puppy, the poor thing. He felt bad for a moment, because Gon always seemed so innocent and pure, a strip club was not the place to bring someone so bright, it would just ruin his innocence. The white haired man wanted to bring him to lots of other place: the cute little coffee shop he went to on his way to class. The patch of grass on college ground just next to the fountain where he liked to sketch and every time he did, his fingers were almost getting frostbite because of the dropping temperature. He wanted to bring the other to the beach, even if his skin didn’t handle the sun really well, to the movies in theater and not just the laptop in his room, so he had an excuse to buy the other popcorn, even if he personally was not a fan of that stuff, just to have an excuse to hold the other hand. He would bring the other in museum, because he knew that Gon liked history and he would rant on archaeology for hours and then Killua would have an excuse to look at him for hours, while not really listening but admiring him. They could even go see some of the paintings if he felt like it and depending on the collection. He wanted to bring the black haired man everywhere, to the planetarium so they could speak about stars (but not one of them could shine brighter than Gon in his eyes), talk about other universes, maybe alternate version of their reality. Would they still be side by side if they lived complete different life than those one? Killua felt like yes.

He and Gon were intermingled and no matter the universe, he would always feel like he had to try his best to deserve to stay by the other side. He wanted to bring the other to the little hill somewhere on the domain of his house, where wild flowers grew and where he had spent a lot of time playing with his little sister, when things were much simpler that what they were now. Oh, Gon just had to meet Alluka!... He felt like they would get along. It felt so long since he saw his sister. If it was possible too, Killua would have liked to show his family house to the other, just to show where he came from, even if he didn’t want to become what his parents and older brother pushed him to be. He wanted to make his own decision in life and to be with Gon to make those decisions. He wanted to show everything there was to show about himself, as well as to bring him to all of those places where a date could happen.  And that was why a strip club was probably the last item on the list.

 

But if he made such a decision, it was because he was friends with the other young man and they were not together as a couple. Friends don’t take out each other to meaningfully romantic places, no, that was a territory claimed for dating and dating exclusively. Friends, on their part, apparently bring each other to strip club. Wow, no wonder he did not have many friends.

But really, he had fucked up, still standing on the sidewalk in front of the club. This was not meant to happen this way. He didn’t want for things to turn out this way, but here they were, an incredibly awkward Killua and a Gon, still looking up at the facade of the building, seemingly fascinated by the flashy lights clicking and changing colors. The other really was easily impressed… And he wore all of his expressions on his sleeve, which make him so much easier to read and to understand.  He was just like an open book and yet,Killua felt like Gon was incredibly out of reach. Sure, he was always so open and way too sincere for his heart to handle, but Killua knew almost nothing in details about the teenager past. Sure, he knew general stuff, like how he grew up with his aunt because his dad was a famous archaeologist. His companion never mentioned where was his mother and Killua never asked. He knew what it was to have a difficult and complex family life. Just because Gon didn’t want to share things about himself didn’t mean Killua had to do the same.

It was somehow freeing to talk about what he had lived and some of the thing he had to see or do. And the best thing was, Gon never seemed to judge him for anything he said, just acknowledging it very brightly in a way that was so very him. He felt like hugging him. He didn’t even know if the other believed every word he said (it would not be so strange. Already his story seemed to belong more in a police mystery horror book than in real life), but it was good to be listen to and to know that someone was standing right beside him. They were friends. And yet, Killua had no idea if Gon was interested in men or not.

 

Well, it was not like he didn’t have a clue at all. After all, Gon was really expressive and liked to say out loud everyone that he found attractive, including both guys and girls. But he did the same with all things he found cute, be that a person, or a dog, a flower or something that reminded him of Killua. It was always said with the same enthusiasm and joy of life, so in his very unique way, the other was impossible to read. Sure, he was an open book, but written in a completely different language and so, impossible to understand for Killua. He didn’t grow up with those kinds of people around him, the young boy always was taught to hide how he felt, because emotions could easily be used against him. Showing your emotions was a terrible weakness.  And yet, he could not help but to admire Gon. To be able to show them all, without fear and with no shame, that attitude was so much stronger in his eyes.

… He was in so deep, it was not even funny at this point.

 

But anyway. Killua knew what he had wanted to do in bringing his best friend to a gay strip club: to see if he really was ok with two men being together like that and maybe… Maybe eventually they could… Like, it was a club, serving alcohol and they were both recently legally able to drink alcohol, so why not profit? The white haired man already knew that his friends didn’t have the highest tolerance for alcohol. So maybe… Maybe when inhibition died, Killua would have the courage to say his true feelings. And if the black haired man didn’t accept them, sure, it would ripe his soul apart, but it was the worst case scenario and he would make sure the other forget quickly about the whole thing with even more alcohol, so Gon could not remember the night at all if he screwed up and made a fool out of himself. But best case scenario… Oh gosh, he could not even let himself think about it, it was embarrassing… Best case scenario, the other would accept or even, return his feelings. And they could, like… K-Kiss and stuff…

He didn’t really want to do much more else if the other was under alcohol influence and couldn't properly say what was alright and what was going too far for the beginning of their relationship. Oh god, if he played things well and if everything happened the way he wanted them to, tomorrow morning, they could be in a relationship… He could become Gon boyfriend…

 

''Killua? Are you alright? Your face just got all red suddenly! Oh no, are you running a fever?! We should not be outside if you’re sick, it’s better if we get back at your apartment, even if I wanted to see the club!!''

 

He finally snapped out of his embarrassing thoughts when he realized his best friend had notice the visible blush on his cheeks. Shit, were his feelings too obvious? But no, Gon was as oblivious as a bag of brick; he could not read that deep into him. So, instead he quickly hide his face under his bangs, so the curtain of hair could cover his reddening cheeks, before loudly answering:

''I’m not sick, you moron! I’m not running a fever or anything, so let’s just go inside already… You don’t have to worry about me.''

To that, his friend pouted. Oh gosh, why did he have to be so adorable, pursuing his cheeks like that, he just wanted to kiss the other male… Really, Gon really was adorable, giving this pout and eyes like a beaten puppy as he slowly answered:

''But if I don’t worry about you, who will?''

… This boy was definitely going to be the end of him. Once again, his cheeks caught fire and Killua looked passionately at the pavement to hide his embarrassment.  It was in moment like that, when Gon said such things, that he let himself hope that maybe there was something more to their friendship… But he should keep all of those hopes far from him, the goal was just to focus on the night and maybe eventually, his feelings could have a place. He could then worry about all of this.

''… Let’s just go inside, ok?''

''Yeah!''

 

Gon was basically skipping next to him as they approached the door and Killua let himself had a little smile. He was so endearing and innocent in his own way, it always was cute to watch. After they showed their ID at the doorman, they entered the crowded place, shimmering with blinking lights everywhere and swirling with people talking and music bouncing off the walls. Gon eyes got even larger, moving everywhere in the place, like if he was trying to watch everything at once and go see every corner of the club and talk to everyone. He probably would, his friendliness was something like a curse really… Killua found this as an excuse to quickly slip his hands in the other hands, as to not lose him in the crowd. His fingers seemed to fit perfectly along the other man fingers, a fact that made him blush a little again. Hopefully, it would be deemed as an effect of the light.

''Keep close to me alright?'' 

''Yes Killua! Ouh, where do you wanna go now? It is all so shiny and bright and there’s so many person here to talk to and-''

''Let’s just go to the bar, ok?''

 

The other man smiled at that suggestion, actively acquiescing with his head, before lightly swinging their joint arm as he walked in the direction of the bar. He always found that Gon was intense in every activity he ever did, never putting a half-hearted effort when he set his mind on something. All of this was still done with a childish innocence even if they were in the middle of a strip club. So, Killua let himself be guided by the other male across the swarm of people, their hands still connecting and innocently dancing between their two bodies. Swinging and swinging, back and forth at a regular rhythm, just like the heartbeat in his chest, still connecting each other. He let himself have a little sigh of relief when the bar finally came into view. Hopefully, his plan would work and he would not have to secretly carry all of those feelings in his chest anymore, wouldn’t have to carry this burden. He had a plan to get drunk with his friend, that he was still holding the hand of and finally just let go of all of his worries, to be free, just as he had broken free out of his family expectations.

 

Well, that was, the plan would have worked if he didn’t recognize, arriving at the bar, a very familiar figure with long black hair, casually sitting on a bar stool across from him and already in the middle of the drink in his hands.

'' … Illumi?''

 

At the sound of his voice, the older man slightly lifted his head, which was previously down case, to properly look at his younger brother, straight in the eyes, his own being totally emotionless as ever.

'' ... Oh. Hey Kill.''

… He had the worst luck in the universe definitely.

 

Who in the universe could just decide to go a totally random strip club and totally by chance meet their overprotective older brother, that just so happened to be at the same club and only said ‘‘oh, hi’’ when meeting them, as if this situation was absolutely normal and there was nothing wrong with it?!?

This was undeniably the worst possible outcome that could have happen. Killua had not even considered it could happen, because it just was so ridiculous, it was not even a possible outcome in his mind. His luck sucked.

 

His older brother was still observing him, expressionless and dead eyes fixing him. It made Killua feel really uncomfortable. Illumi was as usual, unreadable and impossible to understand, simply looking at him, imposing. But he was a bit more disheveled than usual, with his hair a bit ruffled up and his cheeks a bit red, as if the drink he was nursing was not the first of the night. Really, what the hell was Illumi even doing here? He was not to type to go out or to party, so he had to have another reason to be in the club. But really, no matter what it was, Killua didn’t really felt like he wanted to know.

This situation could not get any worst.

 

''Hey Killua, why is that guy getting naked?''

… Apparently, it could.

 

The white haired young man was so preoccupied by the presence of his oldest brother in the club that he totally forgot that he had his best friend by his side. They were still holding hands and Gon was looking at him with eyes so innocent, ignoring all the internal emotions happening inside of his chest right now and it made Killua feel terrible.

'' … Gon, you do realize that we are in a strip club, right?''

To that, his black haired friend only pouted and tugged on his arm a bit more, before answering:

''Yes, yes, I know that, of course! It’s just, he doesn’t seem to be working here and he doesn’t seem like a prostitute either, so he’s neither that, nor a stripper!! But hey! He seems to be there with the guy that knows you!! That mean we can ask him! So, mister, why are you getting naked?''

 

Killua only had a moment to be appealed by such dirty words coming out of the mouth of someone that seemed so innocent, before his brother once again bringing him back to reality by attracting his attention to an older guy, completely drunk, sitting next to him, with his torso already naked and seeming to be on the very way to get out of his pants:

''… That is very true. Where did your shirt go Leorio?''

 

… This would be a very long night.

He needed alcohol.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was sometimes fun closing the club. Hisoka could not really complain about having to clean up and close, especially when he found nice things to play with.

''Hey, hey, Kurapika, look at what I’ve found!''

The blonde sighed and turned their head slowly, stopping what they were doing and directing their attention to him. Kurapika was also in duty to close for the night and already, Hisoka could feel the beginning of a smile being born on his lips. Oh this would be fun…

 

''I swear if this is another used condom… What is it that would supposedly interest me?''

''Well, for once, it seems to be alive... How cute.''

 

This seemed to catch the other stripper interest as his coworker let go of the dustpan and broom he was holding to approach where Hisoka was standing, right next to the bar. Their footsteps were cautious, as if they were afraid of just what the pink haired man was referring to and that only made him grin more. Oh, he could not wait to see the reaction of the blond, it would be amazing…

Because, resting there, casually sleeping behind the bar, was a mountain of passed out bodies, from which he could clearly identified a long haired man he saw earlier in the night, as well as what he had gathered to be his roommate. The one that just so had happen to get really friendly with Kurapika.

''You know what they say, finder’s keeper ♡''

 

Kurapika was automatically frozen in place after seeing the display. Oh what a beautiful expression on their face, unbelief shadowing their eyes and mouth slightly open, as if trying to articulate words that would just not come… The expression only stayed on their face for a few seconds, but enough to make Hisoka stomach full of trimmers. Ah, so delicious... Quickly, Kurapika was moving again, slowly properly laying all four of the bodies in the pile, stopping a moment longer on the one of the taller man. With him and the other familiar individual were also two younger kids, barely looking legal and also peacefully dozing off, without a care in the world, cuddling with each other. Ah, to be young and innocent again… They would grow beautifully, Hisoka just knew and he could not wait to be able to see them mature. But for now he just had to control himself. He had something he was interested in after all… All of his thoughts were interrupted by Kurapika voice, coming up again:

''They are not properties, so I can’t possibly let you keep them, no matter whatever you intended with that. But the problem is, what are we supposed to do with them right now?''

 

To that, Hisoka, still smiling, softly crunched down to be on the same level of Kurapika, standing on their knees. The four mans in front of them were still blissfully passed out. He slowly went and caressed Illumi hair. He was expressionless as ever in his sleeps, and the smile Hisoka could feel on his lips was just getting larger and larger.  Oh this would be fun, this would be fun, this would be fun~…

''Well, obviously, those sleeping beauty can’t stay and sleep here... Maybe they would wake up with a kiss ♡ ?''

'' … Can you stop teasing this is a serious situation.''

''Ah, but I’m always serious Kurapika! But really, I have a car. I can transport them to a more convenient location. But I am not taking all of them in, because well, you see…''

 

He could see the blond visibly flinch and swallow his saliva. Hisoka let his eyes go downcast once, his hand on the cheek of Illumi. His skin was soft and he slowly let himself caress the skin. he imagined himself doing that more, maybe when the other man was awake. This would be really fun indeed…

''… See, I only take care of what interest me. It would be too bad if one of my toy decided to break now, right~?''

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka car obviously can fit 6 person in it because it's a clown car.  
> This joke was lame, but seriously, I hope y'all won't mind this small incoherence~


	5. Interval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Where Kurapika is a good host, but Illumi’s a terrible guest_
> 
>  
> 
> For Illumi, murder usually leads to sex. Interpret that the way you want to. Also, Leorio have really something against orange carpets for absolutely no reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the interval!

* * *

 

 

Flash of pains were going on in his mind, to the rhythm of his heartbeat, pounding in his head, feeling heavy and draining all of his energy. Illumi consciousness was just coming back to him, so slowly, as if stuck in place.

All of his thoughts were hazy, just like the light of the sun slowly diffusing and peaking through his closed eyelids, despite Illumi desperately trying to keep his eyes closed, in hope to fall back asleep once again and stay in that state as if petrified by it. Why could he just stay asleep, immortalize in that state forever, with no light slipping through his eyelids and no heavy blood rushing through his head? His head hurt so much, it was like he had a cactus stuck in there, piercing his mind with multiple sharp twinge of pain, coming in on waves, as if electricity was traveling through his body, the chemical reaction in his head making him want to bash it in with a shovel, so at least it would be all gone. But that would mean having to clean brain out from his clothing. Oh, and him dying too. But if he died opening up his head to let the pain go out, he would have to have a closet casket funeral and that would be sad. He just had to keep his head a little longer. Awesome.

Anyway, just what had happened last night for his head to hurt this much? The sunlight was still trying to awake him, but Illumi was having none of this shit, just going more under the covers of the bed without opening his eyes. The covers actually felt a bit different than usual, but that really didn’t matter. Sleep was more important, maybe he could just black out again and forget the pain ripping him apart. He was not a morning person, but still, searching through his mind, he still had difficulty to recall just what had happened last night.  Of course, he recalled going again to the strip club and… oh. He once again lost total control of himself, didn’t he?

 

Ugh, what a mess… He could now completely remember the feel of the stripper neck under his hands and squeezing… And then nothing. Everything from that point was just flashes and hazy memories with no clear picture of what could have happen. But Illumi was pretty sure he didn’t kill the guy – No, that stripper, his name was Hisoka, he was just too persistent to get killed now. It would take something more complicated than choking him to kill him.That was what he was expecting in approaching the other man. He hoped to have some sort of challenge, something that would not break under his fingers. And clearly he could recall the pleased grin on the other man face when his neck was squeezed by his hands. So no, he had not felt threatened at all, really. But if he didn’t kill the guy... Shit, what had he done then?

A new wave of pain erupted in his head, making Illumi groan and go farther under the covers of the bed. The taste of nausea was sitting at the bottom of his mouth. It was too early for this and his whole body didn’t want to collaborate, but remembering the events from last night would surely help a little. Well, anything would help anyway if he could recall anything that had happen other than the gray mist of his memory. Not one of the images he tried to recall from last night made sense, the pink haired stripper sitting in front of a mirror,  then a cute little blond thing with a feather in their hair, the face of Leorio, all red from frustration and alcohol, his roommate getting comfortably out of his pants… Right, they had drinks together. That would explain the headache. 

To that, a sigh of relief came to Illumi. Ok, so at least now he knew that whatever happened that night did not include too much funny business with Hisoka. They probably just had a chat and oh, it was coming to him right now, he had tried to choke the stripper and his roommate had come bursting through the door and stopped him!

Rude.

 

… He probably would have to thank Leorio for that later. Nothing too complicated, just going to buy some bagel from the store they both liked so they could have a fresh breakfast not involving any smoke or inedible food.

He was a gentleman after all. He would not kill his roommate after all of this.

His time would come eventually just like everyone time come to them one day.

 

The night was just a little more clearer in his head, he and Hisoka had an encounter and probably a conversation that didn’t go so well. Leorio had saved the day avoiding a murder to be made or worse other activity murder leads to and then, probably frustrated by the whole thing, he and the other man had drank together to the point where he didn’t have a single idea of what had happened.  How did they even gotten back to their apartment and the fact that Illumi was in his bed, this was a mystery, but he kept other images from that night and they made even less sense.

He was at least sure of one of them. At some point in the night, he had accoutered Chrollo Lucilfer, working in the club. Even at the time they had met, Illumi remembered thinking his presence was strange, although it was none of his business. And even now, the morning after, he knew that whatever the mafia boss was involved in the club, he did not particularly wished to partake in that. Working with Chrollo had taught him one thing: if you could, it was better to avoid him. He and his gang were feared for a reason and no one would be stupid enough to go provoke them, especially since he was alone. He didn’t have to put his nose where it didn’t belong, but maybe that was ruined when he took his interest in Hisoka. Ah well. Whatever happened would happen, there was no way of stopping it now.

Apart from Chrollo, there was also someone else he had thought to see, but here his memories were less clear, as if it could be just an effect of his imagination. But at the same time, it could not be just his brain messing around, he clearly recalled the image of his younger brother, Killua, standing in the club and holding hand with another boy. Ah, now that was troublesome… 

He didn’t even know why his younger brother would come to a gay strip club, but nothing good probably, but the more worrying part was that he seemed to have made a friend. Such a ridiculous idea. He should just focus on becoming the new heir of the family already and not waste time on such useless matters. Already, Killua was wasting time studying something that would clearly never pay him up, he could accept one step out of line for his brother, but this one, this ridiculous idea that he could have friends… That was too big to ignore.

They would need to have a serious talk if really what he saw last night was true. Illumi sort of wondered who would accept to become friend with Killua. They were all monsters in the family and monsters never attracted the good kind of people.

 

But the talk would have to wait for much later, as once again he groaned and try to get back to sleep. He buried himself a little deeper under the covers, just trying to chase away the outside world once more. Something shifted slowly next to him because of his movement, but then calm fall once again as a pair of arms slowly attached themselves around his hips in a hold, a warm firm body pressing gently on his back. They were casually spooning in the glow of the sunlight, Illumi head still under the covers, but the arms around him warming him up, like a fire was being set in his belly. Hum, that was nice, but… Wait…  

 

… There was someone sleeping with him.

 

The thought suddenly made Illumi get much clearer thoughts and clearer feelings of where he was. He was just realizing just how different the covers around him felt and how the mattress was just a little softer in some place, as if it was old and well used. This was not his bed and probably not his apartment either. He should have known the moment the sunlight had awaken him actually. He could not smell the distinct scent of his apartment in the air. Instead of fresh woods, it smelled musky, but maybe that were just the covers around him. But that was not the problem right now. He would have the time to figure out just where he was and how to get back home when he would get up. Right now, the important thing to figure out was just who the hell was sleeping next to him and cuddling him up in his sleep. He already felt such of a sense of dread in his stomach, only one possibility coming up to his mind.

 

So after staying in place a little longer, he slowly turned around to make his body face the one that was still holding him against their own body. Illumi then softly opened his eyes, having to blink a few time to get a clear vision because of the headache still pulsing in his head.

Facing him were the features of Hisoka, still blissfully sleeping. His arms were still around Illumi hips and his face, even in his sleep, was still sporting his stupid infuriating grin. Just a little less predatory, more in a relaxed kind of happiness stretching his lips. Hisoka was looking calm, holding the other against his body without a care in the world, as if he knew exactly what was happening and what he was doing. If he really knew, he was probably enjoying pissing the long haired man off.

And pissed off he was.

 

… It was too early for this kind of shit.

 

So without a care in the world too, Illumi removed the arms that were holding him. Then, after ensuring that the stripper was still sleeping, he simply pushed Hisoka out of the bed, before once again burying himself under the covers.

He let a small smile come to his lips, hearing someone moves from the floor below. He made sure to take all the covers to himself and occupy all of the bed so that the other would not be able to join him. And he wouldn’t if he valued his life. No one should disturb his sleep, ever. The last person that had tried had learned that the hard way. So he could finally closes his eyes and let his mind shut down. He would worry about last night and how he had landed in the other bed when he woke up. But right now, he could feel he still had clothes on, so there was nothing to worry about. He could let sleep come.

He could already say that this was a good morning.

 

* * *

 

 

Killua could hear the sizzling of what smelled like bacon cooking up in a pan and automatically, his stomach awaken him. He could feel his mouth being all pasty and his thoughts being hazy, but he was sleeping in a bed and not in a dump, so that was good already. The other good news was that at least, Gon was still by his side, even if he wasn’t awake yet.

The student in front of him was sleeping so innocently, it made Killua heart beat louder in his chest. He was just too cute to not look at. And his friend was gripping one of his hand in his own. Their hands once again fitted perfectly together. They probably slept holding hands, because they felt warm and just a bit cramped up, but it was just so precious, so he let himself hold the other hand just a little longer.

 

… He could just let himself die happily. This was the best morning he probably had in all of his life, despite the headache and the hunger in his stomach.

Just thinking about it, his stomach grumbled once again, clearly unhappy on his part. Killua sighed a little and despite what he wanted, separated his hand from Gon hand, to slowly sit down on the comfy bed and examine the room they were in.

The walls were painted a dark red color, not what he would imagine to be the best color for a bedroom. No poster were hanged, nor was any clothes laying around on the floor, so Killua could not really tell anything about whoever this room belonged to. It also certainly didn’t help to find out just how they ended up here and with whom. He certainly hoped they hadn’t break in the room without the proprietor of this one knowing so. The last thing he wanted was more trouble for Gon and himself.

 

He could clearly remember the last night being a complete mess and that was enough trouble already. _Maybe_ going out in a gay strip club had not been the best idea. But  **definitely** , deciding that drinking in the company of his older brother just to drown his misery was the  **worst** idea he had ever come with. Just how did that happen, what was Illumi doing in a gay strip club in the first place?!? Clearly, he would not get an answer to this question, but it was worth brainstorming. All he could come up with so far was that it could be linked to one of his jobs, but that wouldn’t explain why the other had gotten drunk with him as if they were two normal brothers… Did brothers usually got drunk together? It was not what he should be worried about.

Really, what an idiot had he been…? Sure, Killua knew he was not the smartest tool, even if he usually acted as if others were all idiots compare to him. But really. His whole plan last night to confess his feeling to his best friend, now, that was really stupid. In what world did he think it would have worked?!? The burden he carried made him lose sign of what would have worked. What would he have done if he really carried the plan? Get Gon drunk, confess, maybe make-up with him (he winced a little at that. Alcohol still didn’t equal consent), just to wake-up the next morning, hangover and with the taste of regret in his mouth? Nope.

It was actually a good thing his brother ruined his plan. For the first time in a long time, he was actually a little glad that Illumi had bargained in his life. The older male had stopped him from making a big mistake. It just made a slightly smaller mistake. But hey, he and Gon seemed to be safe, in a bedroom and with food cooking somewhere, so he should not let himself draw quick conclusion. It didn’t seem so bad so far...

 

Thinking back about it, the smell of the cooking meat made him remember just how hungry he was once again. So carefully, and after checking that his friend was safe and sound sleeping on the bed, Killua slowly got up on his feet, feeling dizzy and started walking for the door. This one was closed, drawing the room in darkness, so he carefully opened it, without making a sound. It was best to be conscious, he never knew if he had the right to be here or not… The door gave to a corridor, giving to two rooms, one right in front of him, where he could clearly see a shower and toilet, and one a little further to his right, where the scent of food was coming from. He had to continue walking to see more of it, so still carefully advancing, Killua slowly entered in a shared living-room/ kitchen area, where dozing off the couch was a man he vaguely recognized seeing last night. In the kitchen, was a blonde, wearing only a pair of grey boxer, a colorful crop top, as well as an apron to protect them from the ham they were cooking on the stove.

… He had absolutely no idea who this person was. But he seriously hoped that some of the ham was for him, because it smelled delicious. So he lightly cleared his throat, supposing that the person in front of him could not be that dangerous, giving their little frame.

The blond, hearing the sound of his throat, jumped lightly, before quickly turning around, visibly on the defensive. Oh. Maybe he should not have assumed the other was completely defenseless and innocent. Only someone that lived in the same world as his knew just how important it was to always stay on his guard. The blond relaxed a bit seeing him, but still, stayed in a conscious defensive state, just in case.

''Ah, I see you’re awake. I suppose your friend is still sleeping?''

 

Now, it was Killua turn to be on the defensive, when the other asked about Gon. It was normal to ask, since they had been together, but just how much did the blond knew about his best friend? Actually, he still didn’t have any idea who the other was and how they ended up in what seemed to be their apartment. But if he wanted to get answers, he would have to play his cards right. So seemingly relaxed and putting his hands on the pocket of the pants he’d wore yesterday and had slept in with, he casually answered :

''Yup, still sleeping. Thanks for letting us stay here, by the way. That was really nice of you. My memories are a little bit hazy, but I suppose we had a good time? ''

 

There. Smooth. Pretend they know each other and that he actually has an idea of how they got here. But he still didn’t miss the amused smile lighting up the face of the blond, as they turned around to flip the ham in a plate, before putting this plate in the oven to keep it warm. Killua mouth continued to water as he observed them moving in the kitchen.

''Since you’re the only one awake, how many eggs do you want? I figured something greasy would help with the hangover.  You don’t seem so bad yourself, but I can enlighten you on some details of the night: we haven’t actually been introduced to each other and have never actually met when you were awake. You and your friends were passed out in the club and I simply let you stay at my studio for the night. My name is Kurapika. ''

Killua stayed in place for a few seconds, before swallowing his saliva and advancing to sit at the kitchen counter.

''Hum… What?''

''You heard me right. We never met before and I have no idea who you are either. I simply offered a place to stay for you.''

'' … Why would you do that?''

''I don’t really have an answer to that question. I could not simply kick you out of the club and let you sleep in the street. I’m actually acquitted with the dufus resting on the couch. It was actually my coworker that helped me transport all of you, but I let you sleep on my bed and couch. I hope you had a good rest.''

 

There was so many questions that Killua wanted to ask and he sort of felt happy he took the time to sit down. First, the person in front of him was a total stranger, which simply took them in by the gentleness of their heart. No one did that. Why would someone do that? It was impossible to understand for him. Even if the blonde in front of him -Kurapika- knew someone from their little group, it was no reason to help all of them and let two stranger sleeps in their room. There had to be something more here. And second of all… Well certainly, he appreciated the fact he had sited down, because he really didn’t know what to expect with the next question he would ask. They had gone to a gay strip-club after all and if the blond had a coworker there, that would only mean…

''When you say your co-worker, does that mean...?'' 

''That I work as a stripper? Indeed.''

 

… Well, that was certainly one way to wake up, didn’t it?

 

'' … Killua?''

The timid afraid voice  had came from the sleeping room, after the moment of silence that had fell between the two figures in the kitchen. Without sparing a look to the blond, Killua was already on his feet and was answering to the worried calls of his best friend:

''I’m here.''

 

Automatically, the door to the sleeping area opened and Gon slowly advanced up in the corridor. His friend looked like shit, with his ruffled up clothes from the day before and a worried expression on his face. Automatically, when he noticed the other boy standing visibly from the shared living-room / kitchen area, his eyes lighten up. Without even registering what had happen, Killua suddenly had a body clanging to him by the hips, and a face buried deep into one of his shoulder. Instantly, he blushed several shade of red, before firmly holding the other shoulder, trying to push him a little, only just to be able to see what was wrong:

''Hey, dumbass, what do you think you’re doing?!''

''Sorry!! Just, you were not there when I woke up and I didn’t know where you were and I don’t recognize this place and, and-!''

''Hey calm down for a moment!... It’s ok now. I am here. I am not going anywhere. It’s ok.''

 

His friend continued to lightly rub his head in his shoulder and Killua slowly moved his hands to properly hold the other against him and gently pat his back. He was fully aware of the gaze of Kurapika, looking at the scene, but that didn’t matter right now. What was important and the only thing important was Gon. Gradually, he was calming down, before finally backing up his head a little, but his arms still firmly holding Killua middle. His beautiful golden eyes were almost tearing up, looking in his own eyes and, once again, he felt guilt flood him.

''… My head don’t feel so good.''

 

Gon looked so pitiful, saying that with a small pout and his eyes almost close to tears that he holder him just a little tighter, still caressing the other back to comfort him.

''Hum, yeah, that’s normal, you’re hangover… Sorry… That’s kinda my fault…''

''Kiss it better?''

''… Hum. What…?''

The hotness on his face just got a lot worse as he felt himself blush under the gaze of other. He could not possibly mean?...

''Aunt Mito always used to kiss the place where I was hurt when I was a kid. I always came crying to her and I remember always feeling better when she did. She doesn’t do that anymore, because I’m no longer a kid and don’t go crying to her every time I am hurt, but I thought... K- Kiss it better Killua? I’m sure I would feel a lot better…''

 

Oh gosh. Gon was really asking to kiss him… Sure, not that kind of kiss, but it still made his face burn and his thoughts wander in an unwanted direction. Before he could regret what he was doing, he lightly pecked the other on the forehead. It was done, no need to feel embarrassed now.

''There, there... Feeling better?'' 

''… I think I need to puke.''

 

And then, before Killua could blink, Gon suddenly pushing himself out of his hold and ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Just what had happened?...

''… Is your friend ok?''

Ah, he entirely forgot about the stripper presence in the kitchen. The blond was looking at him with concern in their eyes and Killua could not help to glare a little:

''Well, according to you, is he ok?!''

''Fair enough, I should not have asked. But, are you ok?''

''… It is all my fault.''

 

At that, Kurapika crooked up an eyebrow, so the white haired young man continued:

''It was my plan to make him go to the strip-club and make him drink… I hoped… Why am I even telling you this?''

''Maybe because I’m a complete stranger that won’t judge you? I work in a gay strip club. Believe me, whatever you say, I probably saw worst.''

''… Thanks. I hoped maybe to confess to him. But it’s all ruined now and he’s hangover and I just feel so bad, because I know it is my fault…''

''… You wanted this, but you didn’t want it happening this way.''

''Well, yeah. Being so focus on your plans and goals that you entirely forget the person which you created these plans for in the first place? Nope.''

 

He could hear the sound of his friend vomiting in the bathroom and he winced. He had to be by his side. He had caused all of this, so he could try to at least repair his mistakes. Then… It would be for his friend to decide if he wanted to still be with him or not. He had ruined everything, so it was normal if he didn’t want to see Killua anymore. But right now that was not important, he had responsibilities towards his best friend. So he simply smiled at the blond while slightly biting his lips:

''Thanks for listening to me and not judging me I guess?... I’m gonna take care of him now. I’m Killua by the way and my friend name is Gon.''

''Pleased to meet you. Like I said, I’m Kurapika and the blockhead sleeping on the couch is called Leorio. I’m going to wake him up, so we all can have breakfast, the 4 of us together.''

 

Wait… Where was Illumi in all of this?

''Sorry, but may I ask? How many of us were passed out in the club?''

 

Suddenly, he could feel the blond being a lot more awkward and uncomfortable, before finally answering by a question:

''… Do you value your other companion life?''

The answer came naturally to him:

''I would not care if he died in a pinch. Good riddance. ''

His answer provoked a slight laugh to come from the blond.  He then explained the situation:

''Don’t worry too much. I don’t know who this person is to you, but he’s staying with my co-worker. And let’s say… He isn’t… Exactly the best person to be around, let’s keep it at that.''

 

There, he could not help the smile blooming on his lips, before finally advancing forward to go help Gon in the bathroom:

''Good thing the person he took in is not exactly the best person to be around either then.''

 

* * *

 

 

lowly, as he started to wake up, gradually his headache also started to split him apart and he could not help a groan to escape from his throat. Urgh. Leorio had just woke up, but already, he could feel his awkward lanky body sprained on a too small sleeping surface and the pain in his head was pounding and attacking itself with a monster headache. Urgh. Already, he knew, this was not the state Leorio wanted to woke up in the morning.

 

''Ah, I see you’re awakening. Do you feel good enough to get up now?''

The soft voice ringed a moment in his head and he had to softly open his eyes to make sense of it. The young apprentice doctor feel like he already heard it before, but he couldn’t remember a face or a name associated to it. He has to blink away the sunshine pouring in the living-room he slept in, but finally, he could make up the form of the proprietor of the voice. Blonde hair with mahogany eyes was meeting his eyes and for one moment, Leorio thinks he has been awakened by an angel.

''… I don’t know why you give me this look, but please refrain to puke on me. Do you remember any details from what happened last night?''

 

It is then, that slowly he starts to register where he is, lying on a lumpy couch and in front of him, precisely, the stripper he had met the night before and… The same stripper who has given him a lap dance. Oh gosh.

The blond was not actually an angel, but a demon in disguise, he was now sure of that.

He could feel his cheeks blazing, but still, Ledorio nodded his head, signaling he remembers just who the other is. The blonde in front of him - Kurapika he recalled- lightly sigh in relief at that and Leorio can already guess that they must have a pretty rough night and morning too. Speaking of the night… He looks around the living-room he slept in, the couch he is lying on being pretty much the only piece of furniture with an old bean-bag chair that seems to be ready to rip itself apart at any moment and let tiny cheap balls of Styrofoam invade the burnt-orange carpet of the room.

Yuke. Who would choose orange as their living-room carpet color? You have to be pretty low in life to step yourself at the level of willingly buying an orange carpet. But that was not the point. The place was nice, if not a little small and he could not help the look he shot at the stripper, full of curiosity and of questions:

''Is this your place?''

 

His voice felt and sounded a lot more hoarse than usual. It was actually as if someone took a sheet of sandpaper and decided to drag it all through his throat. It would also explain the weird taste of both blood and something like bamboo sprouts in his mouth. He hated bamboo sprouts.

The last time he remembered having a taste like this in his mouth, he had just woken up from a rather unpleasant experience involving a lemon and his roommate.  But no something like that couldn’t have happened last night!... He hoped. He felt kind of ashamed about it, but he forgot most of his memories after their fifth drinks of the night. But he was pretty sure they had invited other people to drink with them at some point in the night. Quickly, Kurapika voice was able to bring him back from his memories by saying:

''This is indeed my place, yes. I let you and your friends sleep here. Sorry if the couch is small, it was all I could provide.''

 

His eyes roamed across the apartment. It was definitely smaller than his place (and probably a lot less expensive than what was Leorio paying for his apartment. But he should not really complain, after all it was Illumi that was paying the majority of the rent. In exchange, Leorio had promised to try to limit his cooking attempt at a minimum. It didn’t stop him from trying once in a while to make a meal. The key word in this sentence being trying), but it felt a lot more like a house, with the weird color-arrangement of the place and the tons of tiny little trinkets and books in a library standing on one of the walls. Now that he was more awake, he could also smell a nice odor coming from the kitchen and automatically, he could feel his mouth water.

'' … You made us food?''

''You are guests, it is only natural.''

''Oh my God, I love you. Huh, of course, not in that sense! Just, I can’t remember the last time I had a real home-cooked meal!!''

 

K

Kurapika was blushing a bit at the sudden exclamation of love from the other man, but they still chuckled. Leorio didn’t know if he actually saw the other laugh last night, but the sound was like a delicate bell ringing and singing. It made his mouth water just a little more.

''I find that hard to believe…''

''I swear! I’m pretty sure the pancake I tried to make last morning attempted to crawl out of the trash-can when I disposed of them!''

''Oh. Are you really that bad? Please tell me you did not try to eat them.''

''I just had to completely disinfect my mouth after taking one bite. I had worse. Like, choking on a lemon. That was pretty terrible.''

At that the blond started full out laughing at him and the medical student felt a bit of little pride. They were a lot more relaxed around him than they were last night. He could just get lost in how pretty Kurapika was. It made him feel a little insecure, to get lost in this feeling, but it was not entirely unwelcome. It was actually a little bit exciting.

'' … Hey Kurapika, may I ask a question?''

The blond stopped laughing and seemed taken aback just a little after this moment of letting go. Though, their face was still shining with a slight smile on their lips when he answered:

''You may ask ahead Leorio.''

''I know it isn’t the most polite way to ask this question… But what pronouns should I use with you?''

The question surprised even him. It’s true that he was curious as to what to address the blond, but he hoped not to have overstep any boundary. Maybe he should have just shut his trap as always. Pretty person made him nervous and he never knew what to say in front of them. And yes, indeed, the person in front of him was possibly the most gorgeous person he had ever met or seen.

'' … I would prefer gender neutral pronouns. I… I appreciate you asking my preference.''

 

The answer came with a little smile, just a little shy and hesitant. Kurapika eyes were barely meeting his, but Leorio could guess that they were a bit pleased. For one moment, time seemed to stop and it was just he and the other, looking into each other eyes as if transfixed. And a moment later, the moment was broken by a slight cough coming from behind them.

Standing in the corridor giving to the living room were two old teenagers, one with white hair, supporting across his shoulder another one with spiky black hair. The black haired was watching their interaction in curiosity, while the other one seemed to have a look closer to disgust on his face at seeing them together:

''Sorry to interrupt you, but we were kinda wondering if we could get food.''

 

Automatically, all the magic of the moment was broken. The blond then backed up from the couch – when did they have gotten so close to it anyway? - And Leorio reluctantly sited up. His head still was spinning a little, but it was not so bad, nothing a big glass of water and a good breakfast could not fix. But for the moment he was more interested at just who had interrupted the moment he and Kurapika had shared:

''Who the hell are you?''

It was the white haired boy that spoken again while slightly croaking one pale eyebrow:

''We drank together last night. Don’t tell me you have no idea who we are.''

'' …''

'' Nah, it’s fine! I have no idea who you are either!''

'' … Really. Well, that’s hella reassuring.''

''… Hey Killua, my head’s hurting again… ''

 

It was the other young adult that had suddenly requested the white haired kid attention. He was lightly pulling on the sleeve of his friend to get his eyes back on him. He just looked pitiful with big puppy brown eyes and the slightest pout on his lower lip. Leorio suddenly felt the urge that he needed to help this guy no matter what it would cost him:

'' Do any of you know where my briefcase is? I have acetaminophen in there, if that can help.''

''What the fuck are you trying to give to my friend, you creepy old man.''

''Hey relax!  It just the medical term for pain killer! I’m a medical student!''

''Oh. So basically, aspirin.''

''Hum, Tylenol actually. Aspirin are actually a completely different thing… And you should stop using brand name, that’s product placement.''

''Yeah, whatever…''

 

The soon-to-be be doctor finally food his briefcase resting under his suit jacket somewhere at the end of the couch. He actually had no idea how he found himself in only his dress shirt to sleep, but it was better if he stopped questioning stuff at this point. After rooming through the stuff he kept in there, he gave the small bottle of pills to the black haired younger kid that was looking at him in curiosity.

 

he soon-to-be be doctor finally found his briefcase resting under his suit jacket somewhere at the end of the couch. He actually had no idea how he found himself in only his dress shirt to sleep, but it was better if he stopped questioning stuff at this point. After rooming through the stuff he kept in there, he gave the small bottle of pills to the black haired younger kid that was looking at him in curiosity.

'' AAAAAH, I REMEMBER YOU! You were the old guy trying to get naked last night!''

 

Oh gosh. He just had met this kid and already he knew that he didn’t have any kind of filter. Good thing he was sort of cute. And good thing Leorio didn’t have a filter either:

''SHUT UP, I WAS DRUNK!! And stop calling me old; I’m only 23 jeez…''

He was interrupt at arguing more with the young boy when a twinkling laugh echoed once again. Kurapika was laughing, hiding his smile behind a hand. Just the fact that his smile was just a little bit crooked made his heart beat louder in his chest. The blond continued to pleasantly smile as he added:

''Wow, I would not have taken you to be the type to give a strip-tease. Would you show me sometimes?''

''If you provide the booze necessary for me to do that? Then, sure, but I’m already telling you: I am not cheap.'' 

''Hey, quit it you two. Gon and I are hungry.''

It was white-haired boy that had broken the moment once again. Leorio wondered for a minute what could have possibly happen to his love life for him to be this bitter at seeing others happiness. He also looks around the room. He didn’t really have the time to think about it before, but where the hell was Illumi?...

 

''Hum, aren’t we missing someone?...''

He was then cut by both Kurapika and who he assumed to be named Killua turn to him exactly at the same time as if it was arranged between them and say simultaneously:

''Nope.''

''I don’t see what you are talking about.''

''We’re all here old man.''

''There’s no one else we’re waiting for.''

 

Leorio took a moment to slowly blink. He then shrugs. Oh well. Illumi probably was ok somewhere else. Or just was ditched them entirely. Who could know? His roommate never really bothered about his life sake, so he had no reasons to worry either. Or he could just worry about that after he put some food in his stomach.

'' OK.  Let’s get some breakfast then.''

The small group then all installed each other on the small kitchen table to eat the food Kurapika had made for them. The air was pleasant and conversation flowed without real problem. It almost felt like they were a small dysfunctional family all of their own, formed of stranger all of their own, but still chatting and exchanging over hot breakfast foods.


	6. (All good story can make an equally good)Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The cemetery scene._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Where a time skip occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this a bit later than usual  
> Just a quick trigger warning for this chapter: blood, minor character death, lots of thoughts on death and lots of cemetery talk. Almost the entire chapter is set in a cemetery: you have been warned. 
> 
> So let's go into Kurapika backstory yall!

* * *

« … Hey Pairo. I know it’s been a while. »

…

_The concrete ground they sleep on was always slightly wet. But it hardly ever mattered when they had a dry friend to sleep by their sides._

…

« … I know I should come visit you more often. »

 

 

« ... Like, I said it has been a busy couple of days. The plan is starting to get in place. Everything will start and end tonight. You will not have to wait much longer. »

 

…

_The ground was always so much wetter when autumn came around. Soon, winter would fall and they would not be able to sleep outside anymore. But it was ok._

_Nobody could hurt them if they stayed by each other side._

_Nothing could break them apart._

 

…

« I know, it’s been a long time, but I still can’t forget. But it’s ok. Everything going to be ok. They will pay back for what they did. »

…

_« … I have to go now. I promise, I will be back tonight. Please meet me here right after work. Will you be ok finding your way? »_

_« I will be ok Kurapika. I will find you here, as always. You don’t have to worry about me, so don’t cry. »_

_Despite Pairo words, the blond still felt the tears coming when looking into the other eyes. They were void and blind._

_They could only feel bad knowing that it was their fault_

…

 

« It’s ok. I will have my revenge. »

…

 

_It was their fault_

…

 

« I will avenge you. »

….

 

_It was all their fault._

…

« Then, we will never have to be apart again. »

…

 

_Everything was their fault._

_« It’s ok. It hardly hurt anymore. »_

…

 

« … I am sorry. »

…

 

_Kurapika waited at their meeting place._

_His friend never came._

…

 

« I am so-sorry… »

…

 

_« Hey kid, what do you think you are doing on our turf territory, uh?! »_

_Kurapika could only gasp and start running after hearing  that voice, echoing through the back streets. It couldn’t be him, he was supposed to be waiting for them, he couldn’t have gotten lost in the bad parts of the back alleys, he could not have wander on gang territories,  no he couldn’t have, he couldn’t,  please, please, don’t be him, don’t be him, be anyone but him, please be safe, please, please, please, please, please…_

_« No!! »_

…

 

« I am so so sorry Pairo… »

…

_Before they could catch in their arms their dear friend, having run to him as fast as they could, Kurapika saw a flash of silver coming from a knife. The flash disappeared soon after, finding home in flesh and blood._

_« Pairo!! »_

_…_

 

_« I… It’s o-ok Kurapika. It… It hardly hurt anymore. »_

 

…

« This is my entire fault and yet t-this hurt so much, I am so sorry Pairo… »

…

 

_The concrete was just as wet when it was soaked in fresh blood._

...

 

« I’m sorry I could not protect you… »

 

...

 

_« Uh? Another kid? What the hell do you want? »_

_Kurapika was still looking at the lifeless corpse of their friend, slowly bleeding out in their arms. But the other guy only had to make one movement and brown, almost red eyes, full of rage, were on him, frightening him to his place._

 

…

« What would you think of me if you knew what I have done?... »

…

 

_Kurapika was slowly taking back their breath and looked around them. The body of the thug was under them, still a rusty chain they had found on the ground wrapped around his neck. Kurapika too was hurt, but it didn’t matter at the moment, just like he had not registered yet what he had done, what had just happen. All that mattered was the still slightly warm corpse of his friend that was still resting in front of them._

…

 

« But it’s ok. You don’t have to be lonely anymore. We promise that we would always be together, didn’t we? »

…

 

_The blood was still soaking the concrete, forming a warm puddle._

_But it was still wet, miserable and sad._

_A heart braking kind of wet._

…

 

« So, just wait for me Pairo. Soon, I will have avenged you and then, we can be together again. »

…

 

_They wanted to die. Kurapika wanted to die so much and yet the tears in their eyes were blinding them and their hands were shaking as they tried to hold the knife in front of their chest, to ripe their heart out. They wanted to be able to join their friend, laying on the ground, getting colder and colder as his blood continued to go wet the concrete. It was the same blood covered knife that had ripped the life out of their friend, so if they could just die by the same blade, if they could just join him, sharing the same destiny… But they could not see anything anymore, tears trailing down on their face, falling just like the metallic sound of a knife being dropped to the wet concrete resonating, falling just like silence fell once again. Their hands were still shaking._

_« I… I am sorry Pairo, I-I, I can’t do this… »_

 

…

 

« Sometime, I wonder if you’d really want this… »

…

 

 

« Hey, Pairo, remember how I promised you’d see the world? »

…

 

_Kurapika buried both corpses in a local cemetery.  The graves were both dug illegally and both the guy and his friend were buried, though at completely different place. They had covered the fresh dirt with some fake grass patch, profiting from the fact that the cemetery was in renovation, so that nobody would notice something strange._

_Neither of the graves had a tomb stone, so the blond quickly forgot where the thug was buried, but always remembered where his friend was. Under some tree, close to a little lake in one corner of the garden. They felt like Pairo would have liked it._

_They liked it. It was a great place to visit. It was a great place to rest eternally._

 

_A few days later, Kurapika learned that the territory Pairo died on belonged to a group nicknamed the phantom troupe or the spiders.  And so, the plan begins._

_The chase was on._

…

 

« Sometime, I really wish you could answer me… »

…

 

«  _Please don’t leave me »_

_« Of course. I would never leave you. »_

…

 

« Sometime, I really wish I could be by your side already… »

…

_« Pairo? »_

…

 

« Hey Pairo? »

…

_I love you._

…

 

« … »

 

Kurapika sighed and then slowly got up on their feet, leaving the bouquet of white carnation in front of the tree. Underneath it, was calmly resting their purest friend, Pairo. Since the temperature was getting colder and colder, lilac were now impossible to find in flower shop, so white carnation had to do for the moment. They could also bring rose, but there was something about them and their signification that irked him, so he preferred other flowers. Once spring would come back once again, he would be able to bring lilac again.

That would be of course if Kurapika didn’t die before that.

 

The thoughts would normally be a depressing one, especially so early in the morning, but it was just usual for Kurapika to think like that. After all, autumn had just started, winter was coming, but spring was still far down the road. By then, the initial plan and all of it back-ups would surely be completely executed and one of them would have worked. Meaning that Kurapika, by then, would finally be in peace and would be dead.

Even in a cemetery, those thoughts seemed to be a little dark.

 

But maybe it was because Kurapika was in a cemetery that they thought like that. The  last step on their plan and also last wish, the only thing he had written on their testimony, all they wanted after everything was done was to be buried next to Pairo, even if their friend was buried illegally. The blond had nothing else to lend, all the money they made went toward paying their food and apartment and all the books at their place could be given to the library, so it was no problem. 

The only thing Kurapika once had was now buried underneath a tree.

 

But Pairo was never them in the first place. Or at least, as friend, they belonged just as much to each other. Both of them had belonged to each other and now, Kurapika was all alone.

 

But it was ok; after all, you had to be alone to die without regret. The only thing they wanted before that was to avenge their fallen friend once and for all. It was not even that it would be the last thing Kurapika did even if it meant dying, it was more it was the last thing they would do **before** dying. Their own death at this point was almost as planned as every step and every breath. It was sort of an unavoidable obstacle they didn’t feel the need to avoid anyway. Death would come to everyone in the end no matter. Just like Pairo would have justice. Then, it would be Kurapika turn to rest in peace, finally reuniting with him.

 

After the carnations were dropped at the front of the tree, the blond quickly retreated to the main road of the cemetery to go once again at the doors of this one. It already had been a few days since the unusual events of that night, but it felt so much longer and at the same time, so much closer due to their strangeness. Since then, they hadn’t seen Leorio, nor his strange long-haired roommate or the two teenagers come to the club, but maybe it was for the better. After all, Kurapika could not get allowed to be distracted, right before the plan would start. It would just ruin all of their effort and so, Kurapika could not let himself make friends. It was probably for the same reason that he knew that he had to visit Pairo grave now, since he wouldn’t have the time anymore once everything would start. It was a bit unfair, but it was just sincere concern He would not let his heart be broken by having to visit his friend and he would not let themself be distracted. Two birds’ one stone.

The dirt road Kurapika was walking on was slightly cracked from the ice of the frozen ground. How come the temperature was so cold already, winter was still weeks from now. But really, the cold represented well the ice surrounding Kurapika heart. Everything was cold and every little movement triggering it hurt. Their mind was a frozen landscape despite not having any snow, just like the cemetery outside. It was just as fitting to stand along the corpses since they were basically already one themself.

 

The metal gates of the cemetery were slightly swinging in the wind, making rusty groans and plead like a death parade. A song of metal and wails was played for the resting souls staying in the frozen cracked groan. And just as Kurapika was to pass those gates, a familiar figure also was entering the cemetery from those doors. The sight in front of them was enough for the blond to halt their steps and look at the other with a mix of horror and curiosity.

 

« … Leorio? »

 

The black haired male seemed to be caught in thoughts, clenching to his chest a bouquet of big yellow flowers. He seemed to get back to earth hearing Kurapika call him like that.

« … Oh. Hey. »

 

What was he doing here? This was all Kurapika could wonder, even if the fact that they were both in a cemetery didn’t let much room to wonder about motivation. 

And yetr, it seemed impossible. 

How could Leorio, someone so bright and full of live could be here? It just didn't make sense in Kurapika's mind. They took a moment just to look at the bouquet of flower. Surely, this was for someone important to Leorio... It felt really strange, especially considering the kind of flower Leorio was bringing.

 

« … That’s a strange flower to bring if you’re paying respect to someone. »

 

Leorio seemed to be a bit insulted at this remark, looking at the flowers he picked and then looking at Kurapika again, frowning:

« Uh? Why are you saying this?! I just thought they were pretty!... »

 

 

Automatically registering that they had made a mistake, Kurapika quickly backpedaled:

 

« No, no, this is not what I’ve meant! There is nothing wrong with them, per say… Do you know anything about flower language?

\- … Do I look smart enough to know flower language?

\- You are plenty smart Leorio. And I’m sure you’re plenty kind too since you’re preparing to be a doctor. Don’t belittle yourself like that. It’s ok to not know flower language. »

 

To that, the only answer from the taller man was a shrug and avoiding eyes contact, looking elsewhere. However, Kurapika could see a slight blush on Leorio cheeks and guessed that the compliments had touched him. That was good; they were out of the awkward tension previously created. Leorio seemed just a little bit pleased and Kurapika felt a sense of pride. After all, even if things were difficult to talk about, the blond had managed not to screw up. No feelings were hurt. Nothing had to be talked about. All was good. They let themslef smile easily and continued on with the explanation:

« You see, those flowers are marigolds. They are often associated with the want to gain wealth, since they were once used as of a gift to the gods for people not having money to afford giving a golden offer to them. They have also lots of uses in different culture and in different field. Furthermore, they hold a meaning of passion and creativity. So, it’s a bit of a strange choice of flowers to bring to someone, but I think it definitely fit you. »

 

Kurapika after that expected maybe a few things. Maybe a blush on the cheeks of the taller man. Maybe a bashful look and another shrug of the shoulder. Maybe even Leorio accepting the compliment. However, what Kurapika didn’t expect was a hand to slowly go put one of the yellow flowers in their hair. They slowly touched the flower with the tip of a few fingers. Why would he do this…? Kurapika never remember ever receiving flowers before and here was Leorio giving them one, just so naturally.

 

« … I think flowers are meant more for the living than for the dead. »

 

It was moment like this that Kurapika find themself to be completely petrified by the eyes of the other man.

In Leorio eyes were playing all sorts of emotions, like a sweet melody, bringing movement and light. He was exactly like that yellow flower, standing out in the middle of the grey of November, a splash of yellow paint in his life. He was a whole new song,  full of live, making Kurapika forget about the requiem of death that were their useful days. So engrossed in thoughts, the blond almost didn’t catch Leorio muttering his next sentence, almost as if it was only for himself:

« You said this flower fitted me, but damn, it looks like you… Say, what’s your favorite flower Kurapika? »

 

Even though Kurapika was still stoned from what had just happen, the blond still heard the question and found a voice to answer:

« … Lilac. They represent purity and first love. »

 

There. Kurapika tensed for the moment Leorio would ask just why they had chosen this flower as a favorite. Because they had no explanation to give.

Lilac made them remember of his mother garden when they were still young. They would help her take care of the plants with her on Saturday afternoon, while their dad calmly watched them from the patio, reading the newspaper. Lilac made them remember Pairo. Every moment both of them were together, happy and unaware, playing make believe in this same garden and the first time they dared to give some innocent flower to the boy.

 

Lilac made them remember a lot of things. But sweet memories were also mixed with darker ones, the ones they didn’t want to think about. The memories of a closet casket ceremony, with flower petals everywhere, but too many tears in their eyes to really see them. The two coffins were set side by side, along other coffins, so many of them. Lilac made him also remember the table next to a hospital bed. Wind was blowing through the open window, but the air in that always had felt confining. Lilac made him remember the smell of blood on wet ground.

Sad memories were funny things because they could be a mix of both happy and terrible one.s Maybe it was because those memories were all involving the same actors, playing in the past. It didn’t help Kurapika to think any clearer.

So they just had to wait for the moment Leorio would ask for a reason. Because that was the moment that everything would break and all would fall apart. But no, the student in front of him simply smiled and answered:

« I see. Yeah, I think they represent you better then. »

 

Kurapika just look at their feet and answered with a mere _thank you_. They should have guessed Leorio didn’t need a reason. The other was simply a kind soul. He didn’t have to get reason to accept something as true. It was both a bit worrying, but refreshing all the same. It just made Kurapika heart break a little more in their chest. The smile on the student face was basically glowing when he continued:

« I should be going; I don’t wanna hold you here any longer! Anyway, hum, by the way, I just got accepted to spend night shift at the local hospital, as part of a stage. So, if sometimes after your shift, you’re free to grab breakfast and a cup of coffee together… Like, it doesn’t have to be anything, just two friends getting food, if you want! S-So… What do you say?!

-… I think that would be lovely Leorio, but… I am afraid I’m too busy to take you on this offer.

\- O-Oh! Ok, yeah, that’s totally fine!!... I guess I will see you soon?

\- I doubt it... But thanks anyway. It… It was a good talk.

-Hahaha! Sure was!!… »

 

The smile on Leorio seemed strained and Kurapika felt their heart clench in their chest. They could understand the fact that the student was disappointed they didn’t accept the offer, but like he said, it was an invitation for a meeting between friends. So there was supposed to be no hard feelings and no reason to lie. It made Kurapika feel awkward and the air between them tensed. Kurapika really had wanted to accept the offer. They really did. But no, they could not let themself be distracted by anything. The plan was starting, so they didn’t have any say in what they wanted anymore. And surely, they would not stay long enough after everything was done, just so they could go grab a cup of coffee with the other male. Despite how much they wanted to. Oh god they wanted to. Leorio made them feel more comfortable around him than any other person before and Kurapika appreciated it. Too bad they didn’t have anything to show affection with.

 

Kurapika finally decided to move, coughing and lightly waving good bye to the man still standing in the cemetery:

« I… I really did like this talk. But I will let you go for what you came here for... Farewell Leorio. See you on the other side. »

The black haired man didn’t answer, but it didn’t matter. Kurapika didn’t know what they wanted to hear for an answer so they quickly runned away. They would let Leorio have some privacy. The other man probably needed to be alone anyway.

At this point, he could no longer hear the words muttered to a small tombstone:

« … Hey Pietro. Yeah, it’s me again. »

 

…

 

« I think I screwed up big time this once pal!! »

 

* * *

 

 

It was a late morning in their apartment and Leorio was sleeping his morning away. He just had started to do night-shift at the hospital for one of his class, but for some reason, the medical student seemed much more miserable than usual, so his roommate just let him be. Here was Illumi, sitting in an old pair of gray jogging pants and nursing a cup of coffee, sitting at the kitchen table.  Nursing was the good term, since enjoying could not be used, since, as usual, the coffee was watery and terrible. But still, the morning was a slow enjoying morning. Nothing was troubling Illumi mind, the house was silent and everything was calm. He should not have anything troubling him.

And yet… And yet, his mind keeps coming back to the same thing always. It keep coming to the stripper that he had woken next to a little more than a week ago. The pink haired male that he may have spends a night with. But it was only normal after all to still think about it. Illumi still had no idea just what had happen with Hisoka and how he ended up at the other house.

 

After falling back to sleep, he had woken up once again at the beginning of the afternoon, only to find that Hisoka was gone, only letting a note behind him. Illumi automatically crumbled the lewd message, before calling a cab to get back to his apartment. He appreciated that Hisoka had not woken him even after pushing the stripper out of the bed, but still, it didn’t make the situation anymore normal.

Just what had happen in this night between them? Illumi had tried questioning Leorio, but he didn’t have any answers either. His roommate after all didn’t keep any memories of that night and had woken up to a completely different place, even if the medical student avoided developing on just where he had been. But he doubted that Leorio would keep anything important from him, it was probably irrelevant. After all, the other knew just how better it was to not keep things away from Illumi…

So technically, the only other option he had to get answer was Hisoka. He had managed to avoid the other male the next morning in question, but that was suspicious in itself. Why would the stripper let him sleep when he had made his intention toward Illumi absolutely clear? Actually, the long haired man was not sure if Hisoka wanted to kill him or have sex with him…  But either way, if Hisoka really wanted either of that, he would not have let him calmly sleep and pass the hangover he had. Such a move was confusing and Illumi was not sure where they were standing anymore.

He thought he also had made his intention rather clear toward Hisoka. He wanted to squeeze the life out of him and see the despair in his eyes, because this man dared to disrespect him. But now… Everything was not so clear anymore.

 

They had cuddled. Just the thought of that made Illumi shiver from disgust. But… It certainly had been nice. And it was not like Hisoka attempted to do anything else, something that was highly surprising in itself. It had been still nice… Illumi could not remember ever having been cuddle before. His father was always a little distant from him and mother preferred to order butler to do anything rather than doing it herself. So it was only normal he didn’t remember either of them giving him any sign of affection… The only sign of affection was from Killua when this one was  alot younge,r and maybe Kalluto too, but that was a bit of a stretch. Nobody ever really wanted to touch him, it seemed. Nobody wanted to stare at him too long or to approach him, as if he was a wild beast, a monster. And he was in some way.

It didn’t pose him problem, not really. It was better to be feared than to be loved after all. Fear indicated respect. Nobody daring to mess with him. And then had came Hisoka, crashing all of this down. It was… Refreshing in some way. He had someone not shivering from fear under his stare. He had someone not running away when he approached. He had someone not jumping from fright when he approached his hands. He even strangled the stripper and his only reaction had been to smile and flirt. Even if it was really strange and infuriating… It was sort of nice to have meet Hisoka. Not that he would ever let the other know that, it was better to keep that to himself. The stripper would never let him live it down if he learned that Illumi liked to cuddle.

What he really wanted to know now was how he had found himself to be in this situation in the first place. But all things would be learn in due time. And if he wanted to know, there was only one person he could go see. And no way was he seeing Hisoka any time soon!

 

… Yeah, he was definitely gonna go find the asshole for answers sometime soon.

 

Oh well, it could not be helped. His class had kept him occupied for a few days and despite it being probably too soon, Illumi already knew that he was going to visit Hisoka at the club one more time. So he drained the rest of his coffee down the sink of his kitchen and started to get prepared for his afternoon class of the day.

He had a date tonight after all, he had to get ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The guy killed by Kurapika is not Uvogin by the way. You can see him as a random nobody asshole. 
> 
> 14/09/16 edit: This story is on hiatus, but has been completely edited. Not sure when I will start writing it again, but you can always shout me a comment if you want to see more. My tumblr is Cherself, so don't feel shy to also message me there. So. See you next time?


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